The words you are about to read are my own feelings.

I do not speak for anyone else but myself, as these feelings are mine and mine alone.

My words are not meant to harm anyone, but meant to help me work through a topic that a lot of people won't speak about out loud.

If I have harmed your heart in any way, shape, or form please call me on it.  I'm only learning about this transgender topic as I go along.

If you begin in November, you'll have a chance to see that I have indeed come a far way in my journey.

I started out defiantly silent, un-accepting, scared and quite ignorant about the whole thing.

Please understand that I am still growing through this very personal journey, so as another person may read and find they're not alone in their feelings.

It is the same damn thing someone would write in their private diary, but then choose not speak aloud.  I am exposing myself and at times I'm taking the flack for it.

I'm hoping I may reach the person who is hurting and needs to learn, grow and heal just as much as I do.

I've come a long way, but I still have so much more learning to do.  Join me as you watch this growth.

Now, go ahead and read, keeping in mind that I am speaking to an imaginary friend who does not judge me one way or another, but listens to my feelings and allows me to grow through them.

**this disclaimer may change at any time without notice**


  1. I love this disclaimer. I've thought of blogging, and I admire your approach. I was led to your blog through comments you made on the page of one of my dear Facebook friends, a trans woman in Vancouver. As you point out, life is pretty absorbing, and so I'll continue to use my Fb account as a sort of enhanced blog. I've begun reading your posts, as you recommend, starting in November 2010 (those were dark days indeed for me) and working my way to the present. Perhaps you'll hear more from me. -Miki Mappin

    1. thank you very much for stopping by miki!

      i'm happy to hear that you're another one of us who needs to express themselves about OUR side of the transition.

      and please do come back to say hi!

      a xo

  2. I'll start reading your November article and work my way forward. Apparently Katy from Lesbians In My Soup follows you, and if she does, you must be worth reading.

    1. bill, that is a really sweet compliment, as katy is amazing.

      thank you for stopping by and reading ... just remember that no matter what you read, i'm doing quite well.

      albeit, a little more crazy every day.

      but i'm sure you're cool with that :)

  3. Your disclaimer is bullshit. You change names and lash out at anyone you feel has done you wrong. You are not objective or bias in your views. You need too grow up and deal with life/reality. You are now living in a 3 world country where....EVERYONE will try to con, steal, extort and possibly murder you. You have everything..they have nothing....they don't care, what you've been through.....stupid girl.

    Signed....someone you have done wrong to....

    P.S. You don't have the flu....your drinking/bathing in shit water. It's also in the ground, total raw sewage. Your veggie garden will have to be raised....try google/parasites/your wannabe pool.

    1. dear 'anonymous' i didn't have space to reply here. please see today's blog:


      and thank you for stopping by

  4. Dear Anonymous,

    Try #2 - coz my first lengthy and rather clever retort was consumed by the ether regions. (Please look up your back side.)

    Good to know Andrea is "not bias" in her views. Too bad you didn't get the memo on the objective of being objective.

    Seems to be lost with your notes about the differences between 'you're/ you are' and 'your' - and 'to' vs 'too'. Let's not split past particles though or bother with double negatives.

    Fact - All your bases belong to... Andrea! You're fired Trump!

    Oh Anon anon, what a scientifically astute, mathematical genius you are! Your conclusion defies logic but... let us play your little game. I call it - Illogical Spock.

    Everyone living in "3 world country" can rejoice to learn they can take the day off.
    Free at last! Thank dog we are free at last- from oppression, stereotyping, and profiling! Living the dream I tell you!
    You are such a voice of the people.

    You solved all their worldly (remember they have 3 to deal with) problems! Illogical Spock win!

    Can we see your white board equations? How did you derive that the sum of their possessions, hopes, worth, labour, history equals Nothing?!? (oops almost forgot it's your made up world -s (plural) we are just discussing/disgusting/visiting it.)

    Nice potty mouth by the way.

    So basically you're (see how i snuck that in?) saying 'We' 'they' 'other than you' are all thieving, murderous, callous, con artists?! Arrr walk the plank!

    Btw last time I seen Andrea she was looking like a full grown woman. (She was shooting a gun too) Is the term 'girl' still a gay thing? Or are you that old?

    Yes Andrea is drowning in poop. Thanks for your fibrous contribution.

    OK. I'm done with wannabes.

    1. lol! this one made it in there ... thank you for your lovely retort :) it was almost as long as mine hahaha!

  5. Whaaat? Yours is bigger than mine? I demand a recount! Lol

  6. i applaud u my friend. i stopped writing journals in my 5th yr of my 11th yr.of my recovery.kudos to you for sharing! i am now thinking of doing same as you. then on tv last night there were evil people who were killing specific bloggers and it made me wonder if its safe? ill look into it some more,,,but i really think your an amazing writer and very brave. dia


your comments make this world feel smaller ... and you feel closer