looking to the future

There's a small possibility that we'll have a washing machine soon.

I'm not getting my hopes up, though.

Hopes for what Papi and I know as 'normalcy' get crushed here pretty quickly.

The women 2 towns down do a really good job, and I don't rub the skin raw off my knuckles trying to do it by hand.

No chloro.  No destroying of clothes.  They fold it super wonderful and they really smell good too.

If we never have a washing machine, we'll just live like we have been.

Clothes don't get brought in for cleaning until they start offending people's nasal cavity.

Mine tend to do that faster than Papi.

Not sure why I'm such a stinky girl, but I never used to smell like this years ago.

Too much info for ya?

Ok, let's talk about The Donkey and her first trip to Dr. Bob yesterday.

There's a double edged sword of reality here.

First of all, the people we adopted her from lied to us.

Now we know they just wanted to get rid of her, even if it meant lying about her, and it always aches when I think about unwanted animals.

I knew they were lying about her being part rottweiler, even if they did show a pic of the 'mother'.  Pictures don't prove anything.

The moment I saw her, I knew she couldn't have any rott in her, because she is so thin in the hind quarters.  Any hound that is part rottweiler would have that rottie bum.  No choice in the matter.

Anyway, I said it all along, but Dr. Bob confirmed it for Papi, and Papi believed him over me.

But the other part they lied about?  She was not 4 months when we got her, she was around 7 or 8 months.

Which means she's not going to grow any bigger.  That to me was the best news EVER!

As much as it's cute and all to have a novelty like the world's tallest dog, the fears I had about her just strolling up to the counter and eating everything off it without her paws leaving the ground have been calmed.

She'll fill out a bit, but no taller.  Phew!!!!!

So, she's around 8 or 9 months now.  Ready to be fixed so we're not inundated with donkey pups from the un-neutered dogs in the hood.

Next week is her day, and it's just as hard for us!

Dropping her off and seeing that face that says, "You're leaving me?!?!"  Then picking her up when she's in a kennel with the eyes that say, "Whatever I did, I'll never do it again!!"

But it's better than having unwanted puppies.

It's better than her puppies being in the hands of the same type of person who would just give her away when she got too big.

There's another really difficult part about dogs in the Dominican Republic that absolutely kills me.

People can't afford to get their dogs fixed, so there's pregnant dogs all over the place.

But the puppies?  When there's too many puppies, people kill them.  That's the animal control, because spaying and neutering is not a financial option.

It absolutely cuts my heart into pieces and I can't handle thinking about it sometimes.

I want to make a difference here and help to start raise money for the spaying and neutering of dogs here along side the AAAS.

As things calm down, I have 2 projects that have to be started pronto.

Make some kind of promotion to help get animals fixed, and get the choir going with the kids.

Then there's the PanMan!

He stopped by yesterday and told me as SOON as we're done here, he wants me to get working with him to help promote his ecotours and land for people to live on.

Oh, hey!  I get my keyboard today!!!  I get to start making music again!!!

So, it looks like I have a lot of good things coming up.  Let's just find me some down time to do it, OK angels?!?!

OK?

And how about that washing machine?

(oh hey ... if you like the sunday sillies of our YouTube show, maybe you could join up on the Facebook page and help spread the word about it?)

i engage in work that impacts the world in a positive way

waves crashing

The angels DO have a sense of humour.

I was at the hardware store, yet again, where I'm becoming part of the scenery, and I was waiting patiently for The Carpenter to get his wood, concrete, nails etc. that he needed.

I'm really only there to pay, as I'm just a walking wallet.

Anyway, I was waiting for him to return and was missing my HECTOR cohort, wishing we could play some music together now that my bitch of a back is being friendly.

The ticket to get here is quite expensive, so I can't just see my Drummer Boy just hopping on a plane to come make music.

Nor can I see him leaving behind The Turkey, my first godson, so I was just wishing that someway, somehow, I could have tons of cash to fly him here to the Dominican Republic to play some shows.

My Bluelight ex-buddy has enough cash to come here, and I miss her as well, but chances are that she's mad enough at me that she will NEVER forgive me enough to visit.  Chances are I could never trust her friendship again anyway.

But there I was wishing I had money.

I went into the hardware store to pay, and the first amazing thing happened, that worker that I said I'd win the heart of, gave me a hug, saying, "I like you.  You're my friend."  Accomplished!  Won his heart!  Bad Spanish and all!

Then within moments, the PanMan came in.

He's the one the angels sent me the other day, when I really needed to hear some words of wisdom.

I bought a bunch of snacks for for Papi, as he asked how we were doing.

We spoke a while about the ups and downs, how hard it is to live here.  He understood fully when I spoke about having lost our cat, and that Papi is really down.  Really depressed.

Mostly from grieving, but also because we're both stressed the fuck out about money.

He told me there would be an opportunity for Papi to work for him if he liked.  It would be in sales for the land he has, not to mention, the eco-tourism that he needs promotion for.

I explained that it would be a job for me, not for Papi, that Papi doesn't like sales, but I'm a natural born hustler.  I'll work hard, and try my best, even if I fail.

I told him I'd email him again and look at options for working with him.

I strolled back to the car with my bag of bread in hand, looking to the sky for my angels, saying, "You really are funny, you know that?"

So, maybe I need to ask them to help Papi a bit more.

He's really in a rough state, in his own Pit of Doom.

He knows everything he needs to do to get out of his depression, but he just can't do it.

Not to mention, I'm not able to persuade him to do those things, or he'll get upset telling me, "You think I don't know that?  You don't remember I worked in mental health and told people that every single day of life?"

Yeah.

I know you know that Papi.

I just want so badly for you to feel better.

Just like the PanMan said, "You have to ride the waves.  They go up, they come down, but you are never in one place.  If you're down, the law is you have to come up.  But when you're up, you also have to come down."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Papi and I had gone to the beach yesterday, because it was the country's day off of work.  A day to celebrate workers and they got a day off with pay.

We went to the beach with the masses.

It was my first time to the Sosúa Beach.  As I floated, I looked to the sky and spoke to the angels, "Thank you for this opportunity to play in the waves.  Thank you for giving me a break today and letting me just float here.  Thank you for the ocean."

I have more to thank than for just the relaxing day we finally got to have.

I have to thank the waves for allowing me to ride them.

Come back up Papi!

Your wave has to come back up.

It's crashing a little.

i am passionate about doing what i need in order to increase my fortune

Gratitude List, Day 7/10
1. I am grateful the angels keep sending me words.
2. I am grateful I keep looking for the angels words.
3. I am grateful I worked to get myself out of my depression.
4. I am grateful for the ocean to help heal my back.
5. I am grateful for people genuinely liking me.
6. I am grateful for people who have been mean, so that I know what good people are to me.
7. I am grateful for friends who support me.
8. I am grateful to feel loved.
9. I am grateful for the small opportunity that may be to make an income.
10. I am grateful for Papi to ride these waves with.