You may be a redneck if,

I never got to tell you about the whacky experience during the video preparation and the actual day.

Remember that bad dream I had?

The one where my BlueLight partner Lin stopped the filming because of my 'fat'?.

While the fitting of the dress happened, you know, when it fit, Lin ever so seriously walked over and pointed out that there was a bulge in the boning of the dress.

All I saw was her pointing at the 'fat' that i'm all too aware of, so I told her what had just happened I had dreamed about prior.

I got very defensive, because the Anorexia Monster was chattering about how I'm going to look so awful in the video, etc.

However, I found my come back, "Ok!  But it is only Saturday.  I have one more day to eat a gazillion veggies and lose water."

They were both impressed that I was able to actually lose a dress size in a week, but now comes the hard part.  Keeping up with my proper diet.

There has been a lot of talk on Facebook about a campaign to bring awareness to eating disorders.

The Anorexia Monster is really enjoying it.

Mostly because I read the full article about how most models are considered anorexic, yet the 'plus' size models were around a 6 and above.

You fucking kidding me?

So.

To them I'd be a plus size person?

No.

A plus size person can only shop at 3 stores, and it's all made for older women who like to dress conservatively, or in a moo moo, without a spice of flare to it, lest they look good.

Seriously?

Where are the designers out there who realize that the world doesn't revolve around size 'waif'?

Beauty does not only come under the size of 6, but that good old Anorexia Monster is still talking away at me regardless.

hehehe ... while you're sick and don't feel like eating, you can just fake a little more 'not feeling like its' in and lose a bit of that stuff you see in the mirror ...

Well, I'm too sick to fight that bitch, so I'll be sure that when I do feel like eating, it will be something healthy that benefits my system.

So, fuck you and your 'plus size' fucking crap.

Fuck!

The fucking fucker's fucked!

Had to throw that in there. 

I just love the redneck in me.

Video Pics!

I'm feeling a little more coherent today.

That was worth the level 8 pain and exhaustion.  Just glad I don't have to perform like that every week, or even every month.

Regardless of how much I hurt, the video for BlueLight is going to be great!

The company Green Couch are amazing.  Their style of filming is going to give our video absolutely astounding life.

Here are a few shots:

I thought I'd share this one first, because it makes me giggle every time I look at it.

I'm not actually attached to a noose, however, this song is about Papi's male transformation, so a noose would be appropriate.

It was us looking 'upside down', which is also how I felt during the worst part of tumultuous emotions I had around my love dropping the F-M bomb.

Anyway, this is the hair that took an hour of picking, and half my conditioning products to undo.

I've never had my hair stand on end before.  I never knew it could.

I mean, you'd think I experienced my hair on end through the 6 weeks of catatonic crying over Papi's male transformation.

But no.

It was Zed the amazing hair stylist who did this with ease!

That's not a spider in my hair, even if it gives me the creeps looking at it.

These ghouly pics don't quite catch the way Green Couch was filming it.  You'll have to wait for the video to actually see the effect they were going for.

You can see Lin Gardiner in the background playing keys, but this is a better look at the two of us together:

If you look at the bottom of the pic, you'll see the company, LMG Photography.

The couple are very good friends of ours who do amazing work.  It's Meredydd Gray on makeup, and Lara Gray behind the camera stills.  They are the same friends who did our wedding pics.

They are amazing.

Here's a nice close up of Meredydd's amazing makeup job:

Yup.  I look like I belong on set for Disney.  However, I'm not sure they're keen on a gay princess with tattooed arms and full metal shrapnel on her teeth.

None-the-less, between Zed and Meredydd made such a fantastic look, I have never felt so childlike in all my adult years.  Goddamit it was so much fun!

But I know what you're waiting for.

The Dress.

Yes.  THE Dress:

Well, we didn't really get a great close up with these pics, because there was so much in the way for filming, but here it is:

There may be more shots to share with you to get a really good idea of why I worked so hard for a week to fit into it.

But for now, you get to see how absolutely frivolous I felt in this get up!

It's probably the last time I wear this gem.

My ass gave the boning in the back a run for it's money.  It slowly creeped straight through the material, jabbing me in the butt for a good 2 hours.  Not to mention I couldn't sit, because that dress would have ripped open if I did.

There's a nice war wound on my ass.

Ah, the suffering we do for our art.

thank you pain killers ... you really did a great job!!!

Or in this case, an overly absurd statement of goofiness.

But my favourite of all, was a pic of pouty me.

Yes.

I do pout.

There's that spider again, only this time, it looks like I have black roots.

Anyway, these are the only shots I have to give you right now.  There's so much more, but I think I'll just wait for the end result to show you.

I can't wait for it to be edited and polished!!!!