Thursday, November 21, 2013

an apology

I'm sorry.

I left this place, but I came to realize, that was selfish.

I came to 'you' for your support a few years ago.

Some time later, I felt I needed to move away from this place.

I have since found that 'you' needed me, too.

After all that time you were there for me, I took myself away from 'you'.

I've had people tell me they miss me.

They miss my words.

They miss my stories.

They miss me.

So, I'm not retiring this blog.

I'm coming back.

Papi, too, told me it's good for me.

He also told me that no matter what anybody says, no matter how anybody judges me, this space is MY space with MY perspective.

I spent some time going through other social media sites and removed any bad energy, negativity and those who have hurt my heart.

I felt bad about it, for others' feelings, because people may feel slighted.

However, I do have the right to have my space be positive and lord knows how my emotions can be swayed I can be by mass ostracization.

I allow myself to focus on the love now.

This is a public space, but it is also an honest space.

A place where people can relate.

A place where 'you' can read my words and allow my honesty to help you realize 'you' and I are not much different.

I have a secret to tell you.

I didn't quit the blog because I felt it was time to move on.

I quit because I felt that I had nothing good to speak about, and that judgement from so many had finally taken it's toll.

Well, I know now that I have VERY much that is worthy to speak about.

I very much have greatness of life to share, balanced by moments of dire honesty.

I am able to walk on my ankle now, and am not in pain 24-7.  This helps lighten my moods, that's for sure.

I have one set ready for piano gigs, and am working on my next sets.

I've been spending countless hours playing my piano enjoying myself.

It has been really good for me.

Good for my heart.

A good break from everything.

I can't promise I'll be writing to 'you' every day, because my music must take precedence right now.

Which is OK.

But I want you to know that I am sorry for leaving you.

Your emails, notes, comments, words through Papi have all allowed me to realize that 'you' need me just as much as I needed you all those years.

I am grateful for you, and grateful for those of you who spoke up and made me realize I'm wanted.

'You', are awesome.

'You', are great.

'You', made me feel loved.

Thank you.

i am motivated by peace


  1. I am glad you are here and you mean so much to me Big A..... HUGS

    1. :) i am grateful to be important to you ... it makes me so happy to feel so loved.

    2. i have been in my own stuff too :( but i really like your honest blogging <3

    3. writing will take you out of that place dia! i know it works for me.

  2. I am so glad you decide. To stay. I love you. Little piece of.the world. I love your voice.

    1. sometimes, i just don't think anyone would care. but that's my low self esteem talking to me. she's a bitch. i'm grateful to be back :)

  3. Yes, I missed you! But I also know the need for self-care. You're not obliged to write in your blog, no matter what others want. But if you want to write here, you know you have readers, people interested in what you have to say. Sometimes we need a break, and sometimes the break ends. Glad to see you back and to hear that things are going better!

    1. writing that i was back actually made me feel good véronique :) so i suppose that was a good choice.

      just like the choice for a break. which felt good too. all is good and thank you for being here for me.

  4. This is great news. It's always hard to say exactly what draws me back again and again to some blogs, but something does. I look forward to peaking inside your life and your brain for some time to come!

    1. from my brain to your exquisite brain katy, that means so much to me :) i love you xoxo


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