your sunday sillies ...
So, Papi and I went to Kahuna's Sports Bar last night.
My love wanted to feel like he was living a life here like a typical expat.
Sit at the bar, watch some sports, and be a normal guy, instead of hiding in the house alone.
I just wanted to stay at home and finish my editing, but that would mean Papi would be alone, then driving home after drinking.
So, I said I would go if I could finish editing my YouTube video at the bar.
Thinking he'd be embarrassed by the thought of me sitting at a bar working, I thought he'd say no, but he was thrilled!
I felt like I'd look a tad silly, but at least I could get the work done and be out of this house that tends to feel like a jail cell because we're so far into the country.
Not to mention the fact that I need a change of scenery after staring at 4 walls for a month.
Anyway, our plan was just a calm Saturday night hang out in a Cabarete bar, but dammit if they didn't have a pay per view boxing fight going on, which meant a lot of people.
No matter, we were there early enough for me to set up shop at the only plug in the place and start on my work.
I thought Papi would thoroughly enjoy himself taking to the other men, but he kept interrupting me.
I kept trying to ignore him, but he just had too much excitement to leave me be.
Then the disaster happened.
Remember the creep?
Well, dammit if the only fucking seats left for him and his wife were next to us.
Yup. Right fucking BESIDE us.
At this point, I was MORE than grateful I had my computer to keep my nose in. It meant there was no need to look their way, even though I could feel them looking at me.
That poor woman looked very uncomfortable, and him? He had the perfect douchebag look with his sunglasses on at night, so we couldn't tell if he was looking our way.
We moved our table a little closer in when a little bit of rain came, but it was still not good enough to keep me from feeling anxious and triggered with fear and flashbacks.
... it's all your fault ...
He was still too close.
Then! Miracle of all miracles! 2 seats opened at the bar right beside the DJ.
The DJ and I were both on computers, so I felt a little more normal.
This is when we finally started to have fun!
The DJ has to ring this siren type bell every time something cool happens in whatever game happens to be on, which meant he had to keep leaning across me and apologized every time he did so.
However, he then put Papi to work.
Papi was rip-snort-drunk, so it gave him a job to do, a way to bond with some new friends, and the glee of being the teacher's pet who gets to ring the bell, and kept him out of trouble with the escalating serum of strength kicking in stronger.
A few times he said, "I feel like I need to say something to them!"
Oh, Papi, you just stick to your bell. That guy would kick the shit out of you!
And he did stick to the bell. He was having a blast.
Every time he would ring it, he would get a look on his face like a child.
It was so much fun to watch him enjoy himself.
By the end of the night, the DJ said, "You guys should come here more often." The DJ and all his friends decided to take us in as part of their clan.
We have new friends, including a physiotherapist who wants to help me with my ankle.
He also informed me I have a long road ahead of me; a good 6-8 months for it to heal properly, IF I do the work.
Fuck. Anyway.
I didn't have any more energy to obsess about the creep, because I was enjoying myself so much.
My angels were with me last night.
I'm no longer in my fog blocking their healing energy.
So, Papi and I went to Kahuna's Sports Bar last night.
My love wanted to feel like he was living a life here like a typical expat.
Sit at the bar, watch some sports, and be a normal guy, instead of hiding in the house alone.
I just wanted to stay at home and finish my editing, but that would mean Papi would be alone, then driving home after drinking.
So, I said I would go if I could finish editing my YouTube video at the bar.
Thinking he'd be embarrassed by the thought of me sitting at a bar working, I thought he'd say no, but he was thrilled!
I felt like I'd look a tad silly, but at least I could get the work done and be out of this house that tends to feel like a jail cell because we're so far into the country.
Not to mention the fact that I need a change of scenery after staring at 4 walls for a month.
Anyway, our plan was just a calm Saturday night hang out in a Cabarete bar, but dammit if they didn't have a pay per view boxing fight going on, which meant a lot of people.
No matter, we were there early enough for me to set up shop at the only plug in the place and start on my work.
I thought Papi would thoroughly enjoy himself taking to the other men, but he kept interrupting me.
I kept trying to ignore him, but he just had too much excitement to leave me be.
Then the disaster happened.
Remember the creep?
Well, dammit if the only fucking seats left for him and his wife were next to us.
Yup. Right fucking BESIDE us.
At this point, I was MORE than grateful I had my computer to keep my nose in. It meant there was no need to look their way, even though I could feel them looking at me.
That poor woman looked very uncomfortable, and him? He had the perfect douchebag look with his sunglasses on at night, so we couldn't tell if he was looking our way.
We moved our table a little closer in when a little bit of rain came, but it was still not good enough to keep me from feeling anxious and triggered with fear and flashbacks.
... it's all your fault ...
He was still too close.
Then! Miracle of all miracles! 2 seats opened at the bar right beside the DJ.
The DJ and I were both on computers, so I felt a little more normal.
This is when we finally started to have fun!
The DJ has to ring this siren type bell every time something cool happens in whatever game happens to be on, which meant he had to keep leaning across me and apologized every time he did so.
However, he then put Papi to work.
Papi was rip-snort-drunk, so it gave him a job to do, a way to bond with some new friends, and the glee of being the teacher's pet who gets to ring the bell, and kept him out of trouble with the escalating serum of strength kicking in stronger.
A few times he said, "I feel like I need to say something to them!"
Oh, Papi, you just stick to your bell. That guy would kick the shit out of you!
And he did stick to the bell. He was having a blast.
Every time he would ring it, he would get a look on his face like a child.
It was so much fun to watch him enjoy himself.
By the end of the night, the DJ said, "You guys should come here more often." The DJ and all his friends decided to take us in as part of their clan.
We have new friends, including a physiotherapist who wants to help me with my ankle.
He also informed me I have a long road ahead of me; a good 6-8 months for it to heal properly, IF I do the work.
Fuck. Anyway.
I didn't have any more energy to obsess about the creep, because I was enjoying myself so much.
My angels were with me last night.
I'm no longer in my fog blocking their healing energy.
i have abundant courage
missed my a.m. gratitude yesterday ... oops! Gratitude 6/10
1. I am grateful to have made more new friends last night.
2. I am grateful I had the strength to stay at the bar, despite being triggered.
3. I am grateful for a little less pain today.
4. I am grateful for my creativity.
5. I am grateful I unplugged the doorbell and slept in today.
6. I am grateful for internet to keep in touch with friends.
7. I am grateful I know I'm loved.
8. I am grateful to be feeling positive again.
9. I am grateful I found someone to work with my ankle.
10. I am grateful The Thug is becoming less aggressive.
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