Favourite top, eaten.
Razor, chewed upon.
Holes, dug.
I put chicken wire down on their favourite digging zones to dissuade them, after getting so angry at them for ruining a top I'd worn only twice, not to mention, everything else they got into yesterday.
None-the-less, we prepared for a walk down the beach.
But then the issue happened; Sir Bark-A-Lot got his little toe twisted and stuck in the wire.
He ripped his toenail right out of his toe!
Blood! Screaming! Papi and I panicking!
We cleaned him up and left him behind to lick his wound, while we took the rest of the cretin for their run about.
Jersey Girl saw me and invited me for a visit afterward.
Sounded like a great idea! I needed to just not be around all the animals for a little while.
Upon returning from our little visit of chit-chat, I was full of sand from walking on the beach, and dogs jumping all over me.
I tried to run a shower. No fucking water.
No problem. We have a pool and I'll just dip myself in there and rinse all the sand off.
A quick skinny dip.
I mean, I didn't want to get my hair wet or anything. Just a dip.
I brought my towel, and in all my nakedness, looked at the gate in front.
Seems the coast was clear.
I can run to the pool without anyone seeing me and once I'm in, we're high enough that anyone walking by won't see me in my birthday suit.
I got in and sat on the stair, and began to pool bathe.
Then I heard it.
The Guards next door were up on their wall peering in at me with no clothes on, excited about their show!
I immediately shrunk into the water and tried to hide what I could.
Fine. The rest of their show would only be a view of my bare ass. That's all.
I called to Papi, asking for help, or even suggestions as to how to escape this dilemma.
Neither of us wanted to say anything.
Papi didn't want to, because they have machine guns.
I didn't want to, because I didn't want it to turn into a game for them, prompting them to believe I was naked just for them.
I wanted to tell them to turn around while I got out, but thought they would just laugh at me, thinking I was playing around.
I was only grateful that the pool light wasn't on for them to see every little bit I've got!
As the sun sank further, I waited for them to lose interest, all the while, I hadn't moved from that spot.
They must get bored at some point if I wasn't going to give them a show, right?!?!
The moment they looked away, I grabbed my towel, jumped out and ran inside.
Only problem is, for someone with P.T.S.D., it will now create a fear of always thinking I have stalkers again.
I will be constantly looking out doors and windows to see if men are staring in, looking for another show.
Fuck!
Not to mention, I have to drive past them every day on my way to teach.
I suppose those tinted windows will come in handy for a little while, as I calm down from the fear of 'worst case scenario' looping in my mind.
I don't want to encourage anyone. There are enough people getting raped here without the incentive of being in a pool naked.
When I got up this morning, I heard the dogs barking off the balcony. Sure enough, I looked out to see them watching our yard again for another show.
Looks like I'll have work to do with my P.T.S.D.
Razor, chewed upon.
Holes, dug.
I put chicken wire down on their favourite digging zones to dissuade them, after getting so angry at them for ruining a top I'd worn only twice, not to mention, everything else they got into yesterday.
None-the-less, we prepared for a walk down the beach.
But then the issue happened; Sir Bark-A-Lot got his little toe twisted and stuck in the wire.
He ripped his toenail right out of his toe!
Blood! Screaming! Papi and I panicking!
We cleaned him up and left him behind to lick his wound, while we took the rest of the cretin for their run about.
Jersey Girl saw me and invited me for a visit afterward.
Sounded like a great idea! I needed to just not be around all the animals for a little while.
Upon returning from our little visit of chit-chat, I was full of sand from walking on the beach, and dogs jumping all over me.
I tried to run a shower. No fucking water.
No problem. We have a pool and I'll just dip myself in there and rinse all the sand off.
A quick skinny dip.
I mean, I didn't want to get my hair wet or anything. Just a dip.
I brought my towel, and in all my nakedness, looked at the gate in front.
Seems the coast was clear.
I can run to the pool without anyone seeing me and once I'm in, we're high enough that anyone walking by won't see me in my birthday suit.
I got in and sat on the stair, and began to pool bathe.
Then I heard it.
The Guards next door were up on their wall peering in at me with no clothes on, excited about their show!
I immediately shrunk into the water and tried to hide what I could.
Fine. The rest of their show would only be a view of my bare ass. That's all.
I called to Papi, asking for help, or even suggestions as to how to escape this dilemma.
Neither of us wanted to say anything.
Papi didn't want to, because they have machine guns.
I didn't want to, because I didn't want it to turn into a game for them, prompting them to believe I was naked just for them.
I wanted to tell them to turn around while I got out, but thought they would just laugh at me, thinking I was playing around.
I was only grateful that the pool light wasn't on for them to see every little bit I've got!
As the sun sank further, I waited for them to lose interest, all the while, I hadn't moved from that spot.
They must get bored at some point if I wasn't going to give them a show, right?!?!
The moment they looked away, I grabbed my towel, jumped out and ran inside.
Only problem is, for someone with P.T.S.D., it will now create a fear of always thinking I have stalkers again.
I will be constantly looking out doors and windows to see if men are staring in, looking for another show.
Fuck!
Not to mention, I have to drive past them every day on my way to teach.
I suppose those tinted windows will come in handy for a little while, as I calm down from the fear of 'worst case scenario' looping in my mind.
I don't want to encourage anyone. There are enough people getting raped here without the incentive of being in a pool naked.
When I got up this morning, I heard the dogs barking off the balcony. Sure enough, I looked out to see them watching our yard again for another show.
Looks like I'll have work to do with my P.T.S.D.
there is a great reason that this is unfolding before me now
I should think that as long as you have PTSD, you'd have to work on it, to lessen its effects at the very least. It's not something anyone should have to live with for their whole lives! Are you able to see anyone there, someone with training in treating PTSD? xo
ReplyDeleteyeah véronique, i've had it for as long as i have memories of being alive. it's gotten better. but damn. i hate when it makes me feel jumpy and that i have to always be looking over my shoulder.
Deletenot sure if it will ever go away, but to at least diminish? yes. that would be lovely. :)
I imagine it might diminish somewhat with time, but only really with help (EMDR, whatevs). I know you know that. But really, don't live with what can be fixed or made better! Life is too short for that. <3
Deletei worked on it a lot before we left for here. there are absolutely NO resources for help here. i would have to do something online ... dunno how well that would work lol!
DeleteOh Huney....I'm so sorry...there are no words...
ReplyDeleteHer PTSD about guys seeing her naked I doubt will ever go away. It's deep! You forgot to mention about me with my 200 pounds of blocking their view and holding up the towel!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could have yelled at them but it is different here. In Canada I would have gone after them with a bat. Here I try as little as possible to make any waves which can be hard at times!!
Now i am annoyed I can't go out naked as much as i do b.c that would fuck them up!!
i can't imagine it ever not being there. men are everywhere and the bad ones are in abundance.
Deleteand no, they don't need to see you naked. that would cause waves like you wouldn't imagine.