Monday, January 7, 2013

bedlam brain

"Honey?  Can you get me a Pepsi?  I want my breakfast in bed today."

No, I'm not kidding you.

You think I exaggerate?

I don't.

He's fine with living off junk food, but he doesn't understand I can't do that for 2 weeks!

He made me give away all my kitchen stuff last night, in another round of The Great DR Purge.

He's so mean.

He says I don't need them.


Because of my food allergies, I can't just go grab a burger or pizza, so I'm forced to actually COOK my food.

At home.

So, getting rid of all my kitchen stuff means I can't cook.

I'd like to say it means I'll be losing weight, because I may be starving to death, but it won't.

It will mean I will be eating staples for the next few weeks.

Staples always includes way too many carbs for this body.

There may be some candida issues, not to mention a few Hurricane Andréa sightings and definitely some bloating.

It's bad enough that The Countdown is down to 12 days and we're freaking out, but a bad diet definitely won't help issues on my part.

I say WE are freaking out.

Yes, we.

On two different occasions yesterday, as per usual, we were asked, "So!  Are you getting excited?!?!"

Every time someone asks that, Papi and I just look at each other for the pause of 'they really don't understand' silence.

Like clockwork, I will spurt out, "Overwhelmed," and Papi will reply, "I wouldn't use the word, 'excited'."

My Eternal Friend knows what it's like.  She packed up and moved to Guatamala.

Everyone else just treats it like we're going for a holiday.

Well, I guess to some we are going on a holiday that lasts more than 2 weeks.

We're not allowed to leave for 2 months if we want residency, so even if I wanted to come home, I can't.

I guess if I only wanted 2 weeks of pain relief, I could do that.

But going back and forth so much during the winter probably won't do me any good.

It will just make my bitch of a back think it's bipolar and drain the bank account pretty damn fast.

On a side note, I just thought I'd let you know I drank an entire cup of coffee without spilling it on my t-shirt.

Not that that has anything to do with this blog.

But then again, this blog kinda started out a little scattered anyway.

That's pretty much how I feel these days.


My brain feels strewn across the city.  I suppose that's the reason for the migraine.

It's still threatening to come back at force.  It seems I can go half a day without pain killers for it, but at some point, it just gets to be too much.

I guess I may be putting off the withdrawal for a few more days.

Anyway, there I go again.

I can't keep any conversation on one thing for more than a minute.

Perhaps it's because we're living amongst chaos.

Bedlam brain.

i follow my dreams, no matter what

That's pretty much it.


  1. I get overwhelmed when I have to call the phone company or when my schedule is thrown off by 10 minutes because of things like traffic or my dog taking too long to poop in the morning. I can't imagine dealing with the bajillion things involved in moving to a new country, let alone the thought of such a big change. So, I understand YOU may not be "excited" about the move. However, I'm very excited to read about your upcoming experiences in the DR. :)

    Also, I've been following your blog for over a year, and I love it. Thank you for making my morning coffee routine that much more enjoyable! (And for giving me something to read during my bouts of insomnia!)

    Ania B.

    1. wow ania, thank you so so much for making my day. i do forget what an undertaking this is and belittle my feelings, so you've helped me today to remind me that this truly is huge.

      not to mention, it made me so happy to know you're a reader.

      thank you xoxo

  2. OMG, I didn't take everything! I wanted to but you looked like you were gonna have a nervous breakdown without your rice cooker!
    <3 Papi

    1. everything papi! you stole it all and i'm withering away to nothing. ;)

  3. Definitely DON'T belittle yourself; this is a MASSIVE undertaking! I'm impressed with how much stuff you both have accomplished. :)

    Ania B.


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