Saturday, January 12, 2013


Well, I'm a little depressed.

I got denied for disability again.

It doesn't make sense.

I'm approved for disability RRSPs and tax credit, but I'm not disabled?

I can only work for 4 hours.

Apparently, they feel I could live off that kind of income.

Nobody will even hire me for 4 hours.

That's why I volunteer.

So, I am supposed to make a living off of volunteering 4 hours a week.

There are some people out there who have been approved for disability and are scamming the system.

How did THEY get approved?

I have legitimate issues and they won't help me out.

Not sure what it's about, but I'm quite upset about it.

I need to write a letter to them stating why I think they're wrong.

6:30 a.m. this morning I woke up thinking about that letter.




Maybe I should call the woman who hit me and ask her to support me.

Oh yeah, right!  Case is done, she got a fine and her insurance premiums went up.  She's 'paid enough'.

I just don't have the energy to deal with all this.

I wish I had a magic fairy who could swoop on in and save the day.

I wish there weren't other pressing issues going on this week so that I could deal with it with more ease.

I'm so tired.

I went out for a dinner with a member of The Pariah Club last night and found I didn't feel like talking.

I just wanted her to do it all.

I piped in a bit, but I'm so exhausted, my migraine hurt with every word I spoke.


I still have a fucking migraine.

It's more like a constant pressure at the sides of my head.

I can actually touch them and they feel bruised.

So, yeah.

I'm tired.



And disappointed.

There's so much more to do and all I want to do is sleep.

It's my last day at the synagogue today.  I have to be there to say goodbye.

I will be there, even if it seems like I just can't do it.

My magic little cup of black liquid will give me artificial energy.

I will put on make-up so that I look like I'm actually part of the living in this society.

I will wear one of 2 outfits I've kept for the next week.


One week.



i cannot give up until i have tried every conceivable way


  1. I'm so sorry Andrea - this is ridiculous! This system is definately flawed...I hope you get come solace from shul. Shabbat Shalom. jill beamish

    1. it really is screwed up. thank you for the shul wishes. it was good until i got emotional lol!

  2. Hey there you there. Not sure if there are still advocates that help people get disability status or not for welfare benefits.

    What about getting EI payout ? And Canada Pension payout?

    Btw thnx for the rad stuff.


    1. EI is for working people. i've been on long term disability for 4 years. canada pension is the one that declined me.

      harper has taken away advocacy money for people. i will find it hard to have someone fight for me.

      you're welcome for the stuff. enjoy.


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