Saturday, November 26, 2011

Tranny Talk and Straight Porn.

After my Living Day Anniversary breakdown, I've calmed down and am back to obsessing about other things.

ah ocd ... never a dull moment of crazed thinking ... it's just good entertainment ...

I've stopped gorging to avoid the fear, and am now back on track with my diet, complete with the zits and dark circles under my eyes and narcoleptic tendencies.

Not to mention I'm wearing my fat pants right now.

You know, I didn't realize I was gorging and being a lunatic about my Living Day Anniversary until after the fact, and that I'm not the only one who freaks about the Discovery.

You see, we visited one of the absolute sweetest couples we know.

It's been a long time coming.  We've tried to make a hangout work forever, but last night was the magical night that it all came together.

And a beautiful night it was.

It was one on one time, and I didn't sob my eyes out when I started talking about this blog and Papi's transformation.

The best part of the night was when they showed us the wild world of bad straight porn that's on our movie list through our cable company.

Of course there's nothing there for lesbians.  When they say, "Girl on Girl", it really means straight women who will cringe at the scent of their counterpart's taco, have long fake nails that would never come near a real lesbian ...

... pap smear anyone?!?! those little fuckers would poke my cervix out of it's happy home! ...

... and will continuously look at the camera, playing it up for the men who are watching.

Because it's all for the men, not us.

Fuckers.

... no pun intended ...

We also spoke about how our insurance company will place the Discovery on the date of our accidents, in an effort to get us to spaz out, and that they then canceled it.

sound familiar?!?!?!  yeah ... at least i proved to papi that i'm not just paranoid, i'm also correct.

We yacked about the people in our community that make someone like me, and others, afraid to speak about our grief, hence the La-Z-Boy and the Pit of Doom.

yes ... it has been that long since we've tried to make the hangout happen.

Through it all, there was a moment when I looked at my love a little differently.

I had another moment where I got to see the male my love desires to be.

Of course, that fleeting moment flew by and denial kicked in again, but through speaking about my fears I concluded that I am indeed really doing well.

There are just a few ends to tidy up.

ghosts ...

However, Papi and I spoke about it like it was no big deal.

Well, it is a big deal, and mi esposo and I are on the hunt to find the perfect moderator to help us communicate better through this.

Sometimes we can work things out on our own.  We really do have honest open communication, and even if it stings the other to say how we're feeling, we open it up and sew it back together.

There are parts about this male transformation that we need someone to guide us through.

There is no handbook on "How To Talk To Your Tranny."

There is also no handbook that says, "What Your Crazy Wife Is Thinking Right Now."

So continues the healing of this wacked out world of transgender life.

Oh!  I've been corrected in my language and learned something new about this gender reassignment again.

Transgender is like a wide umbrella that holds people of all walks in their journey.

Papi is a transsexual.

Good to know.

At least I still get to call him a Tranny, and that's all that really matters.

7 comments:

  1. I never knew that about lesbian porn. Well, not that I've ever made it a habit to watch. Alot of gay porn actor say they are straight.... well they must be fucking great actors, because... well, let's say I'd buy into it.

    And yeah.... okay... I will re-read, because you distracted me talking about porn.

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  2. A

    you are so insightful, and open about your feelings, crazy/mixed up/and some times clear
    moments

    as you have learned the gift of gab, I have faith you will be awesome

    D

    ReplyDelete
  3. lmao jamie!! i figured SOMEONE would be reading just because of the porn title hehehe ...

    @anonymous, don't tell anyone that sometimes i'm crazy, k?

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  4. Yeah, a person's "sex" and a person's "gender" are not always the same thing. Hope you find a good quality moderator to talk with about all these changes that are going in both your lives. :)

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  5. vee, you know what's crazy? i wanted someone to come along and tell me it's going to be ok ... maybe this quality moderator may just be papi and i working it out.

    know what i'm sayin'?

    it may be hard to find the person we need xoxo

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  6. There's every chance that by the time you do find someone you no longer need them anyway because you've already worked it out together. If these posts are anything to go by, then it's clear that you and Papi have an excellent level of communication so it wouldn't be all that surprising to learn that you've achieved everything you hoped for without intervention from a moderator. :)

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  7. this is what i'm thinking vee :)

    i suppose, i could start working on it now xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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