Sunday, November 6, 2011

So, then that's a 'no'?

"I don't know why the nurse would have to tell me, 'no sex for 6 weeks'.  I can't imagine anyone who would feel like having sex after a hysterectomy."

I would have to agree with you, Papi.

However, I had to ask, "So, do they mean no action with the vibrator either?"

Papi was horrified that I would even contemplate having sex right now.

But you see, it's not so out of the ordinary.

I mean really, I get amorous at the worst of times.


I can feel it coming on like I'm a bitch in heat when it really shouldn't be happening.

I think the worst time ever was when I was at a funeral.

Mind you, that was a bit of a mind fuck, considering I was contemplating suicide at the same time as this teacher died.  Seeing so many people grieving over their loss of this beautiful person, I decided that I couldn't put those who love me through that, even if I felt so doomed, yet somehow, horny.

... blah blah blah nervous breakdown yadda yadda suicide is selfish ... yawn ... my maelstrom of a mind ...

But still, I had to ask Papi if it meant absolutely no hop on action, when I was greeted with the most energetic words I've heard all week, "No fucking way are you bringing anything near me!"

Hey, wait a minute!

Wasn't it you, Papi, who just weeks after I was brain injured and unable to walk in a straight line, never mind feel any pain from all the straight codeine I was hopped up on, decide we were having sex, even if it meant I may be a little more fucked up for physio the next day?"

Yeah, I think I deserve my tit for tat now!

Although, after all that thinking, the inkling went away.


It flits about like that.

catch me if you can!

Like I said, completely inappropriate.

I managed to get Papi out of the house today.  Took him for a little drive downtown when my love asked, "Do you ever think people are listening in on you?  Like you're being bugged?"

I had to stop and wonder if I'd been giving off the air of another nervous breakdown. 

Was I talking psychotic babblings and perhaps didn't know it?

Was Papi witness to me having some weird ass freak out and was trying to break it to me that I need to go 'see someone'?

However, I couldn't help answering honestly, "Yes."

Oh great.

Now Papi knows.

I heard my love toss words like it was just an everyday conversation, "Oh.  So do I."

phew! we're in this nuthouse together!

But I do!

Sometimes, I turn on my computer and the little light by my built in camera comes on.

I desperately reach around for the closest piece of paper I can find to cover up the camera.  Then I turn the computer off and reboot.

Not because I'm afraid of my privacy being happened upon, but because when I blog, I don't look so 'fresh'.

And besides, I'm not just paranoid, it's also a fact that I'm followed by insurance people trying to catch me doing the limbo or dancing en pointe for the next ballet troupe.

and people wonder why i never leave the house unkempt ... i'm a star i tells'ya! papirazzi everywhere!

Anyway, it was sure nice having a few moments of my love back.

Even if I made things worse by making mi esposo laugh too much, I do know that even though it hurts to laugh, it helps with healing.  So, bring on the smiles my love.

It's all working out just fine ...


  1. I have random thoughts like that too, usually when I'm going to sleep :P

  2. Haha, Andrea, you make me laugh! Glad to read Papi is on the mend. :) xx

  3. @ww, good to know you're part of the same nuthouse too :)

    @vee, glad i could be of giggle assistance xo

  4. Lol. That random thought was too funny. I think feeling the need for sex at funerals is normal life affirming stuff.

  5. thank you for confirming that i'm still normal jamie :)

  6. Jamies right, I read about this somewhere else - that faced with death it's perfectly normal to want to do the thing that makes life.

    As long as you wait til after the service.

  7. Yay!

    I do find myself "in the mood" during the oddest times. I think it's just part of being human...especially when you are experiencing other feelings you haven't felt or ever felt before.

    Right? Or maybe I'm just messed up in the head. LOL

  8. Your writing is brilliant. Your honesty is one of the best parts of you. You and Papi make me laugh with your banter. And when I'm out running, I always think I'm being followed...but not by an attacker, by my admirers...I get rebooting the computer when you think the camera is on! I think people are reading this as I type...little green men...wait, I may have said too much...

  9. @dirty and jamie, for real?!?! i thought i was some wacked out freak. good to know. next time my libido is lazy, i'll go hang out with dead people.

    @kim, thank you for reaffirming i'm 'normal' lol! you're 'normal', right?

    @sandra, thank you for confirming that people are watching me!!!! you too are 'normal', right?



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