Friday, November 4, 2011

Now who's the old fart?

So, I'm feeling a lot less homicidal.

I was trying to limit my pain killers to see where my pain level was at, and I realize it's not time to do that yet.

When I'm in pain I'm a fucking hag.

The day I went down to The Yank's birthday, a few people had said, "It's so nice to see Andréa smiling again."

I felt horrible that people saw me as miserable.  I hate being miserable.

The point is though, while in the neighbouring country, I was smiling because I had pain relief.

So, yesterday I decided not to suffer just to see where my pain level is and took the pain killers.

I was much nicer to the G'ma after that point.

I spoke with one of my sweet Blogger Friends yesterday, when I realized that I was suffering for no reason.

I was telling her not to suffer and yet, there I was suffering.  So I changed that situation.

Then I realized taking care of Papi is not so hard.  He's been sleeping 99.9% of the time since we've returned from the hospital.

Not too much 'caretaking' to do there, eh?

Not to mention, when Papi is actually awake, there are no words coming out of his mouth.  Well, other than, "Can you get me some soup?"

We now have the Galloping Gazelle come to stay for the weekend.  I'm sure I'll be more than busy now.  The object of the game is to stop the Galloping Gazelle from jumping on Papi's stomach.

Which is hard.

The Galloping Gazelle is quite the jumper.  Fortunately, Sir Bark-A-Lot is usually guarding Papi from the footrest of the laid out La-Z-Boy.

Most people who have spoken to me about my lack of understanding my 'feelings' lately have had a unanimous vote.

I'm healing.  I'm feeling better about Papi and the male transformation.

I suppose they're right.

It feels a lot better than trying to pull out 'bad' feelings, if I'm having them.

I guess in some ways I am having them, considering Papi keeps asking me, "Are you sure you're alright?"

I'm very agitated lately, and I have to imagine, it's my way of working out whatever it is I have to work out.

Apparently, now that my love has no female bits, the transformation will start to really kick in.

I can say, the one thing I'm happy about is that Papi will be going through menopause before me.

My love is constantly teasing me about being the older woman, ...

... hmpf ... i look younger than anyone my age so piss off ...

... but now that Papi is going to have hot flashes before me, I have ammunition.

The next time my love chooses to tease me about being the older one in the relationship, I can easily say, "Yeah?  Well, who just went through hot flashes baby?!  Who's the older one now?!?!"

One thing I did realize today after briefly speaking to My Boifriend who happens to also have brain injury, ...

... and who i get to have a hangout with today yay! ...

... is that rushing anything with brain injury is not going to work for us.  He proved that theory by trying to pack his cat in the suitcase for his venture to the big city.

I realized that part of my homicidal tendencies this week are because I have too much on my plate for one brain injured person.

When I feel stressed, I just can't deal.  I can't even figure out how to log out of a page on this here computer.

I need to go slo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-w.

Anyway, point is, Papi is now the older man, regardless of the number.

Feeling sweaty yet my dear tranny?

Mwahahahaha ...


  1. A, I absolutely love you and your writing. Look what you've been through...look what you both have been through lately! It's enough to make someone edgy. It's'll get through it!

    Have a great weekend woman!

  2. :) ty kim ... and thank you for the ego boost :)

  3. *huge hugs*

    Well darlin' if you ARE the elder of the two of you....aging with grace takes on a whole new meaning. Your Papi has a damned fine looking lady for sure.

    And, trust me, being in pain is no good. I constantly struggle with myself over taking anything when I am in pain due to my recovery. However, the Dalai Lama was onto something when he said, "Pain is mandatory, suffering is optional." No sense in choosing to stay in pain.


  4. aw TD, **blushes** thank you :) and this quote you wrote of is something i learned from my yogi years ago.

    it's one of the best lessons i learned from him.

    i chose not to suffer today as well :) xo


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