Thursday, February 14, 2013

Gun Slingin'

I didn't really want to get out of bed today.  I was afraid of what this new day would bring, as over the past couple of days, we've had more stress and anxiety from more li'l fuckers to deal with.

Let me tell you about Mr. Extortion #2.  He decided that he would stroll on to our property and demand we pay him to remove our garbage.

Fortunately, the Housemaid and the Our Translator (aka the Pool Man's wife), were here to tell him to piss off.

The Housmaid's husband, the Dominican Daddy, takes our garbage as part of his yard care taking we pay him for.

Mr. Extortion #2 shows up with a fancy document that he demanded we sign, and those ladies gave him a piece of their mind and then some.

I'm telling you, I couldn't be more happy to get that damn wall finished.  All you bitches fuck off and don't come back to my property again!!!

Then there was the water delivery.

You see, we didn't want to fill our pool with water from the house, because it's well water and it is very dirty.

So, the Pool Man hired someone to go to a river and get us some nice, clean water.

They filled the pool while we were sleeping and we woke up to a concrete tub of mud.

They just grabbed it from the bottom of the river bed.  They didn't want to work for the clean stuff.  They just wanted a quick buck.

There was our the Pool Man, Our Translator, Papi, and our temporary evening guard, all telling the guy to return it and get the clean water we asked for.

He wasn't budging.

So, I filled up a clear plastic container with our house water, marched over with Pissy Face and said, in very broken Spanish, "This is our house water and it dirty, so we to ask you to bring clean water, but you to bring water that is more dirty of our house water.  Why I to pay for dirty water, when I to have free dirty water in my house?!?!?!"

Still wasn't budging.

So, I tried the next offer, "I to pay your gas and no more."

It was around that time that our Translator, the Pool Man and his son were clocked out for the day, so they left us to haggle with the dirty water brute.

Good luck!  The guy was body blocking them from getting into their car!!

We don't have any more bullets for our gun, as we used them up when we were test driving it, but dammit if I wasn't ready to go get it and fake the guy out.

Oh, did I tell you how funny it was to give that gun a whirl the other night?

There we were on the balcony, and POW! it went into the ocean.

Right afterward, the 2 guards with the rich man next door were on top of their wall with their gun and POW! they shot theirs off too amongst the laughs and arms in the air.

Gun slingin' in the Dominican Republic!  It felt like I was in a segment of the Beverly Hillbillies with all the 'woohooing' and cheering that was going on.

It was like a regular night in Alberta!

Anyway, I digress.

After much scuffling and yelling, the Pool Man's son came back and said, "Just pay the guy.  This isn't worth it.  We'll just make sure everyone knows he's a crook."

So, yet again, we were bamboozled.  We paid $250 for dirty mud water that is currently being soaked to the bottom of the pool by way of chemicals.

Now, we all know what a bubble girl I am.  I'm afraid to swim in that water after all is said and done, but not because of the dirty water.  Because of the chemicals.

I'll probably singe.  You know me.  Allergic to everything.

Anyway, the water is starting to clear after 3 treatments, but the next problem is that we have no electricity to get it to move around.

We have a 2nd electrician here today, who we're hoping will fix everything the first one didn't.

It seems every 'professional' person our Housemaid has recommended has had to come back to double dip and 'fix it' again, then she indignantly asks why we won't hire her friends to paint our wall.

We learned.  All the workers here will say they can do anything you ask them, no matter if they've never done it before.

People are really gung-ho to work, so they say, "Yup!  I can do that!"  But they can't, and they don't.

We're slowly learning to trust a professional to recommend a professional.  Not to mention, this new electrician today is giving me Spanish lessons on top of doing the electrical.

It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood.  The waves are crashing and inviting me saying, "Come!  Let us tickle your toes!"

But I'm too afraid to swim in that rip tide from hell on our segment of the island.

nervousness is only a sign from my intuition that i will listen to 


  1. You need those little sucker fish that you put in fish tanks to keep them clean.

    That's crazy, though! Hopefully, you'll start to develop a network of trustworthy folks instead of roving scammers...

    1. we're starting too katy. we're learning. day by day. just lock that damn gate and we'll be happy.

  2. Lol sorry about yer stress. The extortion guy is comical. I would give the guard shit for not tossing him.

    Wtf the pool guy hired the water guy. Why should u pay? Water isn't included in price of pool?

    Can u guys rent a compressor and paint gun. Buy primer n paint. Then paint your wall yourselves?

    1. this guy came by when the guard was off duty. we now have locking doors and walls! he won't be back, and if he is, i'll be sure to tell him not to come back in such a way that he comprehends it.

      the water should have been free from our well, but it was too dirty, so we decided to pay for 'clean' water.

      as for the paint? we're paying someone because the job is too much for us. we'll be fine there. we have a good guy now. we can trust him to do a good job b/c we watched him do the pool :)

  3. I admire your restraint - it's tempting to buy bullets and shoot everyone!

    1. i'm actually pretty grateful we don't have any. the thought really scares me.

  4. Yes. I was kidding about shoot people. Do the kids in the hall head squishing.

  5. Ha HA in the big city,Edmonton, we have what is referred to as the Edmonton Handshake, aka a knife jab. Not so much with the guns. I swear though,if I were in your shoes and had bullets for my gun, people be dead. You're all surviving amazingly well. :high five:

    1. good god i've never heard that one!! i'm terrified of your city!

      but then again, maybe if i survive living here for a few years, your town will seem like a children's birthday party ;)


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