Monday, February 4, 2013

you don't know me.

Can I tell you how much I hate thieves without being called names for it?

Any colour, age, class, gender, nationality or any other difference someone has from one another, I hate thieves.

To me, 'they' are only one step below a sexual predator.

Yet somehow, Papi and I were called racist because we referred to the thieves here as 'they'.

I'm back in fucking pronoun hell just like I was a few years ago when I struggled with my love going through the male transformation.

I'm so fucking sick of the Vancouverite, uber politically correct people and their finger pointing.

We got nothing but trouble from the 'community' in Vancouver for NOT being perfectly dishonest.  We thought we escaped it by coming here.

Well in the world of social media, 'they' just attacked us on Facebook instead.

We are supposed to keep our mouths shut about everything and anything that we don't like.

If we don't, we're called racist, transphobic, selfish, you fucking name it.

'They' stole from us, the thieves, yet we're called racist for being upset, because 'they' are of colour and from a developing country.

For fucks sakes.  The Pool Man's wife is Dominican and she's the one telling us how almost all the people will scam us here and how we've already been robbed.

Yet we're being racist by calling thieves 'they'.

I came here with so much love.

I poo-poohed anyone who said it's not a good idea give to the people here.

'They', who poo-poohed me, said, "If you give, they'll take too much and rob you."

I didn't believe it.  We wanted to give, give, give.

Give, give, give we did.

We brought gifts and every day we unpacked them we gave it to people we thought would be family.

What did we get for it?  Robbed.  I've now noticed my toiletries have dwindled in only 2 weeks of being here.

I wanted to bring my favourite treats to the people in my village when we got here as a 'hello' and 'thank you for letting me be here in your space'.

Now I won't.  Instead, I'll give my time to an organization where I can leave afterward without anyone knowing where we live.

We have a security guard in which we are overcharged for, but we keep paying it until the pool and walls are done.

Yet still, every time I go out to bring him water, juice, pop, beer, snacks he asks for more money, because he says his baby is starving, then turns around and tells me his baby is drinking lots of milk from the mother.

Sorry, but we are paying you fairly for your job.  We are not stealing from you.  We are giving.  We are not being selfish, but we are not responsible for the well being of every person we know.  We are dependent only upon ourselves.

We really can't afford to pay him, the house maid and gardener and are running out of money, but we hired people because we were told it helps the 'community'.

Yet we're called selfish because we don't want to be broke and living in a shack.

I received a settlement for my motorcycle accident, and we're selfish because we chose to give ourselves a dream life with the money.

Instead, we were basically told we deserve to be robbed because of it.

Let me tell you, if a white, Canadian asshole robs me, I hate them just as much.

Yet because we've come to another country where we're the foreigner, if we vent our feelings about things we worked hard for being stolen, we're called racists and selfish.

One person thought that because 'they' were stealing and are so broke, we should wrap up our things in a gift with a nice big bow, as to say, "Here.  You need this."

To thieves it will say, "Here.  Thank you for stealing from us.  You're welcome to take anything you like because we are just weak, stupid pushovers."

To some people, we're supposed to just take it and give them chance after chance.

I'm sorry, but there are no second chances.  I won't be fooled again.

Today, no matter what the uber politically correct say, I will not allow myself to eat in anger.  That was 2 nights in a row that I used food as a drug to soothe my emotions and both nights wound up nauseas, feeling crappy and having visits from the Anorexia Monster.

Go ahead.  Call me what you want.

I don't fucking care what you think about me and who you think I am.  You have no fucking idea.

I know in my heart I'm a good, generous person who came here with loving intentions and got fucked over for it.

i am aware of my eating habits and how they affect my moods


  1. Maybe this was the generalization that got some people's back up....
    Easton: "It is us against them and by us i mean anyone with $ against anyone without!"

    Good luck. Stay safe.

    1. yup. it was the generalization of thieves. thieves. they. and yes, it is us against them. i don't give a fuck what language was used at this point.

      us and them = victims and thieves

      we'll feel much safer when we pick up our gun today.

  2. It wasn't fair for people to judge you like that. I'm sure anyone who made negative remarks, walk past panhandlers and homeless people multiple times, daily- yet never stop to actually help the person.

    1. at least now i know what people really think of me now that i've left the city. i left the 'community' some time back and thought that i was ok to return.

      i never will again.

  3. OH! Hope things have sorted out... Clicked here for my a.m.-coffee read (like, an hour ago) + this one's got me giggling like mad... Maybe cuz i know how good it feels to vent 'all-out', + when i do the end result is usually hysterical giggling at myself (WISHING 'whoever' were giggling too instead of curled up in a corner cursing me haha - else long gone 8(...)
    i trust you've since met more peops like the one who warned you bout the thieves?!! (@ least you have your manly thug to chase away the blues - who cares about the hypocrites you left behind in spoiled Van?) You can always tune em out or TURN EM OFF - hey there's a plan!
    To those who condemn, i say LIGHTEN UP - MAYBE SHE VENT ABOUT YOU SORRY FUCKS NEXT!? Better yet, listen to some Eminem if Andréa's too 'hardcore' for you!! [perspective = aLL]
    K gotta roll - will read more later honeypie.. XOXO

    1. oh, i vent about everyone who pisses me off. it's my way of getting it out.

      however these folks did more than piss me off, the hurt from being judged by people the way they did was horrible.

      i can only hope that one day they move to a developing country and figure out exactly what we're talking about.

      until then, they can have their opinions, which mean nothing to me anymore.


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