Wednesday, August 29, 2012

'Just Married'

Anyway, there's this walkway in downtown Vancouver that is just that.

A walkway.

We were going to help a sweet friend take apart her free elliptical machine so she and Papi could fit it into the elevator, get it up to her suite, and send her off on a cardio filled living.

My love wanted to be on the road that was on the other side of said 'walkway', so what did he do?

He drove through it.

Next, there were pedestrians looking at us like we're possibly from Mars, or Nunavut.  I would have too.

Mind you, as someone with a fair amount of P.T.S.D. from terrifying drivers who keep trying to kill me, I probably would have had a few words for the person I saw making such a maneuver.

As we rolled only slightly faster than the pace of a walk, I slouched in my seat, feeling like we were some pervy predator old man in a paneled van stalking the pedestrians.

I then looked at Papi with the same shock as the walkers.

At the end of the torture, I was in full humiliation and asked my love, "Do you do these things when you're alone?  Or do you just do them to make me crazy?"

I already knew the answer to this rhetorical question, however, he admitted, "I really only do it to get a reaction from you, because it's so easy."

Yes, this is the Tranny Terrorist I love.  It could be one of the reasons I love him so much; he's just as crazy as I am.

Even though all the people stare and judge me for being with a person that would drive through a gaggle of walkers, I still wind up laughing at the end of every antic this brat can muster.

When he tells me he does it just to irk me, I don't know why, but it makes me laugh even harder.

It's kinda like when I was a kid and my family would tell me, "If G'pa didn't tease you, it would mean he doesn't love you."

Even though the 'teasing' he would give me created a lack of confidence and I'd wind up in tears.

OK.  When I think about it, it's really nothing like that.

Papi doesn't diminish my self esteem.  He just makes me crazy by driving down a walkway while everyone stares.

But wait!  There's more!

Not only are they staring because of the ridiculousness of mi esposo's capers, they're also staring at the stickers on our four wheeled bulletin board.

Well, now there's a new one: the 'Just Married' sign.

Mi esposo found the 'Just Married' sign during The Great DR Purge, and in all his silliness decided to put it on the back of our filthy X-Terra.

Let me tell you, if you're an asshole on the road, your best bet would be to get a magnetic sign that says 'Just Married' on your car.

People will actually give you more forgiveness when you have that sign.

I'm not kidding you.

It's also really quite fun to be driving down the road and have carloads of people honking and waving with really big smiles, so proud of our new venture in life.

I guess you could say we're 'Just Married'.

Really, we were married 2 years ago, but with someone like Papi in your life, there's enough excitement that time flies when you're having fun, no?

So, we can say we're 'Just Married' in the scheme of things.

None-the-less, the verdict has come through.

If you're an asshole on the road, get the 'Just Married' sign.  You'll get away with a lot.

Then the people you've pissed off won't feel so bad for the blushing bride in the passenger seat.

Smile and wave, baby.

With all 5 fingers.

i rejoice in the love i encounter every day


  1. You're fucking hilarious!
    -mr wolf

  2. ok i told you i just drove through that walkway with another friend. I drive way worse when you aren't in the car. I actually try to be way safer when you are in the car. Sometimes i like to see your reaction but i don't do it for that reason. I'm just an asshole on the road.
    Love you baby <3
    another reason to get my own blog to actually write the TRUTH ;->
    Crazy driving husband

    1. ok baby. i'm going to set you up with your rebuttal blog today.

      you're still a crazy driver.


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