Tuesday, October 30, 2012

bullies. they're not just children.

There is so much talk about trying to make bullying obsolete.

There are so many 'adults' who are fighting for the children who have lost their lives because they can't take the pain of being dissed anymore.

Still, these 'adults' should take a look at their actions.

Blatantly, they make their dislike of one person known, yet they won't tell that person what they did wrong.

Instead, they'll make sure that everyone they know won't have anything to do with them.  Either passive aggressively, or with a good old "If so and so is going, I'm not."

That will force the person to make a choice.  And from there, it only gets worse.

Next thing you know, the invites stop coming and when people you thought were your friends give you the, 'I'll just tap you on the back a couple of times' hug, you feel their energy is saying, "I hope nobody sees me."

People you thought were 'friends' start dropping one by one, until you're left with only the true gems, not much unlike peeling an onion, tears and all.

You're left with the heart of the onion.  The gem.  The part of the onion where life begins.

These 'mean girls' will be completely shocked when you come to a planned dinner they didn't know you would be invited to.

You see, the thing is, one person in that crowd is the gem and invited you when nobody else would, because they aren't following the herd of people who say, "Ok, now we're not talking to them anymore."

This?

This is bullying on a much more passive aggressive level.

But it's bullying.

Everyone ganging up on one person, and never really telling them what they did wrong.

They just cut you out.

Cliques are in every 'community'.

I can't say that I'll be getting away from the sick ones forever.

I'm sure that Papi and I will find them elsewhere in the village of Casa Paraíso.

That's ok.

I've learned how to deal with an 'adult' bully now.

However, children?

They haven't learned yet.

They don't know that there are gems that make up for the pain.

They have no tools to work with to build their self-esteem once more.

Especially if they see 'adult's who do the same thing.

They see it everywhere, not just TV.

So, while everyone is on their fucking high horses, talking about how to stop bullying, how about we lead by example?

How about you actually speak to the person who's done wrong, and help them know how you really feel, and help them grow?

How about we start opening a dialogue so that the wrong doers can learn from their mistakes?

I've learned.  I've changed.  I've also let go of the crud who no longer invite me to their gatherings.

You know why?

The Pariah Club has the most genuine, massive hearts, who talk to me about how I can grow.

Then in turn, they ask me how they can grow.

Then do you know what happens?

We gain strength, wisdom and love together.

So, go ahead mother fuckers.

Start your little nights of fund raising for children who are being bullied.

It's about all you have to contribute.

i am worthy of love and friendship

2 comments:

  1. Wow, powerful A and so true. Bullying is learned behavior, and kids learn it by watching adults. They may not be as subtle, but they are acting out what the adults teach them. That is why so few bullies are punished by parents, they don't see the issue because they ARE the issue.

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