Wednesday, October 24, 2012

man hair. everywhere.

I must be done with the processing, as the conversations we have are just plain silly and effortless about things that I didn't think I'd ever be able to handle.

Like hair.

Chest hair, belly hair, armpit hair, ass hair, thigh hair and chin hair.

Just plain ol' man hair.

Well, of course I'd love to talk about my hair, because it's usually all about my hair, but my hair is a fucking mess right now, because we have no heat in our suite, and I'm not going to sit around in the brrrrr chill while my mane air dries.

That doesn't make me feel comfortable and being such a hypochondriac, I'm too afraid of catching a cold.  So, it's hats and pins and pigtails for my hair.


It all became about my hair again.

Oh, how I digress.

Ok, back on track.

I look at a picture of Papi and I on our engagement day in Cuba.

This picture is so full of happiness, yet also, it's full of uncomfortableness.

On both of our parts.

I remember on that day, that Papi had said to me, "I wanted our picture to look like the other people's picture."  You see, they were more comfortable.

I get very affected by homophobic people, and we never know when they're going to pop up.

Like the man behind the camera that day.

I don't know if he was or not, but two lesbians in front of him was a good opportunity to show his true colours.

Of course, he didn't, but still, I waited for it.

Then there was Papi, uncomfortable in his own skin, because he had a secret that he needed to tell me, but was too afraid to say it, due to the fact that I would say negative things about trans people.

My transphobia scared Papi, and rightfully so.

I would go on about how we're losing all our butches to male transformation, not to mention go on about how people were brainwashing younger people into thinking this was the 'in' thing to do.

It does happen, but I've only known about one pusher who did this.

So there we were.

Both of us were so happy because it was our engagement, but you could see we were both awkward.

Now, you'll find me in Costco asking some guy, "Hey!  You're a guy!  Which of these electric shavers would you recommend?"

They would steer Papi in the right direction saying, "I like this one.  For the money, it's the best one you can get."

Then there was last night.  Papi said, "I also need to get a new man-scaper.  That one also didn't make the trip out of the Dominican alive."

Off he went to get it and I didn't even think about it beyond that.

Until of course, later on when he lifted his armpit to show me how nice it looked because it was tamed with his new toy.

Then I had a moment that was epic.

We were going to get our criminal check done so we could apply for residency in the DR, and while I was at my wicket, Papi saddled up behind me.  The woman behind the counter asked in a very stern voice, "Ma'am, do you know the gentleman who is now standing behind you?"

Like flowing water, I looked, then turned back to say, "Yes, that's my husband."

My husband.

It's all very normal now.

Who knew I could do this?

i am a hero


  1. There is a couple on YouTube that talks about being a spouse.. Thejettheads

    Have you and Papi thought about doing something like that before?

    1. i'll check them out! but yeah, as papi says below, he's an attention scaredy cat :)

      i once made a short that i was going to show about the great breast disappearance, but i looked too fucked up to show people in real life lol!

      maybe one day i'll finish it.

  2. I'm sure she would love to do that. I on the other hand am shy and really don't want to be on YouTube. I was so happy when I found out we couldn't be on the Psycho Kitty Reality show b/c our place was too small :-) Thank goodness they didn't get us when we still lived in our house.

    I would do the YouTube thing tho actually b/c I believe in helping anyone who is struggling with being a partner of Trans people. It needs to talked about way more. People feel they can't talk about it or they will be hated by the queer community. My Wife does not deserve the hate she had to endure being honest with her feelings. She has helped people and that is all that matters in my mind.

    1. ok papi! that's the DR job! utube for helping others.

      we'll do it :)

  3. You are such an amazing man and partner Papi!

    I think your wife has helped more people than you guys think
    I know she has opened my eyes with her blog in more ways than one. I have learned alot just reading her thoughts.

    The Jettheads do a girlfriend edition talking about being a spouse to a transman.. because you are right.. it's never talked about..

    1. you are so sweet. at the beginning, all i wanted was help, then all i wanted to do was help others.

      mission accomplished :)

      thank you


your comments make this world feel smaller ... and you feel closer