I no longer think about the goal of journey, because it would mean I wouldn't have anymore explorations.
I've been on a 'who am I now?!?!' journey since the motorcycle accident.
I was told of the story that my Great-Grandmother was dying, but waited for me, then passed after my birth.
I know where I came from, and I feel that my Great-Grandmother is with me always.
I have a connection with her and I don't even know her, yet right now, I feel that she steers me. It seems, because I've allowed myself the opportunity to understand my own spirituality, I've opened myself up allowing her presence in my life.
It has been quite a learning experience, these past 4 years.
The greatest lesson I've learned is to take life the way it is given to me. I no longer question the paths I'm forced to walk. I merely take one step after another, move along it, then see where it leads.
I didn't have that ability before the accident. I suppose the close proximity of death will rip off our blinders.
I have always maintained that an angel helped me on that fateful day, and at this point, I imagine that angel was my Great-Grandmother.
When you really look at it, somehow I was granted a blessing to keep my life, and my gift was handed to me by coincidences of everything that happened in that short 5 seconds. These synchronized effects were placed in my path and I have been lavished with the opportunity to stay here and learn more.
You can 'plan' as much as you want, but don't get stuck in your outcomes, because you can only plan for so much, and life will rip the carpet from beneath you.
All it means, is that you took chose the wrong fork in the road, and life is escorting you to the right avenue.
I know that now. I also know, that even though I have graciously handed fate my well written proposals, I have always found one strange circumstance after another, denying me my requests.
I'm now left wondering, what would happen if I actually reached my destination?
None of my objectives pre-accident are attainable now, but what if I had reached them? Is that when I would have died? Would that have been the end because I fulfilled my destiny? Do I not have attainable targets, so that I can keep learning what it is to be here 'in the now'?
My 'now' is pretty damn awesome.
Well, except for the bastards who stole Papi's motorcycle cover this week. There are people who make this world not so pleasing.
But 'things' being stolen from us aside, my life is great and full of so much love.
I've learned that love truly is all we need.
Well, except for food and shelter, but sometimes, we get really stuck on what 'food and shelter' looks like to us, and another deal is made with fate, leaving us at the mercy of our own kismet.
The happiest people I've ever met have just enough food and a mere shelter to keep them from the monsooning rain that pelts them.
They live for the day. They seek food for the day and sometimes, they are granted a little more and they take that dancing.
They have love. They have happiness.
I also have both, and no thieves or predators could ever take that away from me.
So, when I think about my journey, I am grateful and excited, because life is a surprise that I experience every day I wake.
I'm a curious creature, and I have always been donated more to investigate.
So, who am I? Where am I going? What comes next? I doesn't really matter, I suspect.
I've got the 'how' down now. I'm comfortable with not knowing 'when' anymore and I'm pretty sure I have figured out 'why'.
You know when little ones ask 'why' over and over ad infinitum, and parents in their frustration finally say, "Because! That's why!"
That truly is the answer to 'why'.
i accept my journey for what it is