Broken.

In some capacity, we are all broken.

Some of us, more than others.

Being a 'fixer', I've always had the feeling that I want to help others.

I forgot about myself for many years.

There's so much that is broken within me, that I needed to stop focusing on others.

I can give my friends love.

I can give my friends support.

I can give my friends words of encouragement.

I can also give stories of proof that everything gets better.

None of this is any good to anyone, if they're not ready to take care of themselves.

However, one thing that I've realized through living a rather, ummm ... eventful life, is that by looking to help others, I've wound up helping myself.

I help myself by listening to the words that I tell others.

They're all true.

Yesterday, I found out  yet another person has been harmed by the 'mean girls'.  Crazy, isn't it?

I told him how beauty has come to me because of my struggles these past 5 years.

... oh i haven't even gotten into anything before the accident ... good god i've got a lot i've lived through ...

I told him it can happen for him as well.

But you know what?

I think the 'mean girls' around the world are broken and don't know how to fix themselves, so instead of helping others, they harm them, because it's all they know how to do.

We are truly responsible for our own happiness.

Someone else I know is having a very low time in their life, but what she doesn't see at this very moment, is the same thing I don't see when I'm stuck in the Pit of Doom.

I can get out.

We can all get out.

We can live with anxiety, depression, demons and fear, yet still smile, if we're ready to.

I'll tell ya, when the anxiety hits and my stomach is turning, my head is floating and I can't think about anything else, I'm not smiling.

Point is though, that every single time I get knocked down, I come back up swinging.

I am a leprechaun.

I am the honey badger

I'm sure of it.  "C'mon!  Is that all ya got bitches?!?  I'll take ya on!"

There are people in my life who have fallen, and they can get back up.  I've seen them do it.

It's just a matter of telling that part of our brain that refuses to let up that we won't listen to it anymore.

We really do have the 'mean girls' living in our own heads.

The people who hurt us are just an extension of those thoughts.

For instance, somebody can tell me something they think I am, that I know I'm not, and I'll laugh at them.

But when they say something that the peanut gallery in my mind could believe is true, it hurts.  It really hurts.

In some capacity, we are all broken.

My hope is to be fixed.  For me.

My dream is that for all those I love to be fixed.

You can do it.

I love you.

no matter how much progress we make, there will always be the people who insist that whatever you're trying to do is impossible. ( fuck 'em.)