Wednesday, May 30, 2012

shut the fuck up.

It's hard for me to focus in this house right now.

You know that annoying sound of a mosquito coming at your ear when you're trying to get to sleep?

You're dog tired and feeling like it's time to drift off, when blammo!

You hear it.

Mother fucker is trying to get into your ear so it can worm it's way around until it bites your sinus cavity.

... or maybe that's just me thinking worst case scenario ... again ...

So, you try covering your head in hopes that their brain is small enough that they can't figure out how to get in to find your blood!

But then the air gets thin and you have troubles sleeping because you can't breathe!!!


There is no mosquito right now.  It's too fucking cold in Vancouver to have mosquitoes.

But there is an annoying sound next door.

The neighbours are expanding their home to build Club Med on their property.

They've got fancy walkways, a new kitchen and some whacked out wall that looks like they're building a moat to keep everyone out.

Dude saws their fancy stones to put on that gargantuan concrete wall and it is about to make me lose my mind.

8 a.m. and he starts.  It's literally right outside our fucking window.

I wish he was a mosquito.  That fucker would be swatted in seconds and I'd go back to sleep.  There are some fucking sounds that seem to creep their way through my ear plugs.  That's one of them.

That and the old fart upstairs re-arranging her shoes every day at 7 a.m.

Oh how much fun that was when my brain injury was so bad, that I would wake up trying to figure out who the hell was making noises above my head, then try to figure out who the fuck is sleeping beside me, where the fuck I am and most importantly, how the fuck did I get in this room and who the fuck am I!!?!?!?

Yeah.  That was fun.

Anyway, It's not ranting about the G'ma or brain injury day.  I was going on about Club Med and their fucking Great Wall of China next door.

OK!  Back on track.

I never did tell you about how goddam crazy they are next door.

They didn't like the fact that we have company come and park in the back lane.

One day, we arrived home to find two massive boulders and two massive planters in the lane along their property.  They were placed right up to the line of our property so our visitors wouldn't park over the line of their property.

We are talking to the fucking millimeter.  

The most fucked up thing about that?  Now they can't park there either.

Seems they shot themselves in the foot on that one, but they got their way, and when we asked them about it, they replied, "It is to beautify the lane."

... really mother fucker?!?! you're crazier than me!!! ...

One of my favourite things they've done is removing my Dearly Departed Gypsy's rocks out of my garden and put them in theirs, because they thought I stole them from them from their yard to make our garden look pretty.

They didn't think to ask about it, they just took them.

They don't know that those rocks were collected by my Dearly Departed Gypsy from our last trip to the beach before my sweet girl passed away.  Those rocks have traveled around with me since her death.

However, now they're in a clump amongst their rocks and I'll never know which ones they are.  At least I can still say hi to her rocks as I pass by.

Anyway, this rant was brought to you by the mosquito man next door.

He's lucky my coffee has kicked in and I'm feeling a little less like offing the dude.

The noises made me forget about what I was going to go on about today.  I'll figure it out I'm sure.  There's always plenty for me to bitch about.

a problem is a chance for us to learn


  1. I hate it when you get creeps for neighbours, my ones are on their way out one in their 80s and one late 90s I am not looking forward to new neighbours I haven't got the right temper for noisy ones I'm to gobby, I see conflict in my future maybe I'll try yoga :)

    1. papi has never lived closer to people than this. you know ... he seems to think he could live in a condo. good god no. no fucking way. the crazies are even closer then!!


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