I didn't want to be the only person left out in the rain.
So, I got on.
I tried to squeeze myself in between everyone and at the same time, tried to find a place for my old lady cart, when I felt someone elbow me really hard in the back of the ribs.
When I turned, with a little more than shock, to see who did this, I heard, "You fucking bitch!" I didn't know what that was for, but I soon found out.
miserable lady: You fucking cunt **every name in the book** You don't just fucking push your way in. Get to the back of the fucking bus!
Being a tad stupefied at her outburst, I looked at her with calm, innocent doe eyes, and simply said, "No."
I have to say, I would have rather been at the back of the bus at that moment, but I couldn't get through. Yet mostly, I wasn't going to allow this gargantuan, scary woman bully this little femme.
ml: **every name in the book** You fucking hit me with your cart and then you just turn around and look at me like a fucking idiot. **every name in the book** You need to say sorry and treat people with common courtesy!!
I didn't know I bumped her with my cart. I was only trying to get in so the driver could have his visual path on his right hand side. I would have apologized, but I couldn't get a word in.
I also might add in here, that when she bent down to intimidate me, she made sure she was within inches of kissing my face, and I could feel her coffee breath that was covering up last night's binge drinking session. But I answered her.
me: You mean, like you're doing right now?
ml: Go suck on a cock.
me: Nah. I really don't like to do that. I'm a lesbian.
ml: You know what? I can tell! You fucking dyke!
me: Really?!?! Thank you!!! Most people can't tell!!
At this point, I was pretty sure amazon woman was going to clock my poor, healing jaw that still doesn't have all it's bone. However, fortunately for me, she had more to say.
ml: You're disgusting!! You're so fucking gross!! You're such a fucking disgusting dyke that you've got it stuck in your braces.
I liked that one. But I had to be honest.
me: Actually, that would be my morning eggs stuck up in there.
ml: **every name in the book**
Now people around were a little worried, and they started to move away from us as quickly as possible. I took this opportunity to stand a foot away from her, because I was seriously afraid of her ability to physically hurt me.
I leaned against the bar and breathed.
I then began to hum a song. It didn't matter which song I hummed. I just needed to find that beautiful place I had in my heart prior to stepping on that bus.
She couldn't hear me humming, because of the bus engine and general street noise, so I wasn't worried that she would think I was taunting her.
I decided to look around the bus to keep my eyes off her, in case she wanted to start a fight again, and as I looked around, I noticed everyone staring at me.
They were actually stretching their necks out and around people to take a look at the cheeky one. How was I the crazy one that everyone had to look at?!?!
I could still hear **every name in the book**
It was time to get off the bus, and when I was about to leave, I leaned over to the bus driver and said, "I really hope you have a good day today."
He smiled and gave me a little wink. I don't blame him for not stepping in. He was smaller than me and I was smaller than the bus badger!
Even as she continued, **every name in the book**, I said with sincerity.
me: Have a good day.
ml: Fucking whore!
That was accompanied by the middle finger.
I couldn't do anything other than feel sorry for her, so when I stepped off, I told her, "I wish you love."
I didn't get love back. I heard more turrets haunts, but I walked away and sent her as much love as I could possibly give in that moment.
Dear Miserable Lady: I do wish you love. I really do. The pain you're feeling from drug and alcohol addiction is horrible.
I know, because I've been that person. That person who was mean and rude to everyone around me, because I just didn't know how to deal with my life.
I cried a few tears for this soul, and have been sending her love ever since.
today's mantra from my mc guru:
i am love, i breathe it in and live it, and feel it always