Tuesday, November 13, 2012

no, not she/he, asshole.

Maybe I'm just bitchy and short fused because I'm sick, but seriously, people really piss me off.

Someone thinks I'm a lazy ass and that Papi does everything.

Really mother fucker?!?!

Papi and I do different things, because I can't lift heavy items or walk for long periods, but I pull my weight.

I promise you.  I pull MORE than most people with my bitch of a back would.

I work my ass off just to keep up, so relatively speaking, I do more than most.

When I was healing in the chronic time from my motorcycle accident, people would say to me, "You know, most people only choose one area of rehab to work on then move on to the next."

I said, "Fuck that.  I've got to get better now."

So, when someone says that they feel bad for Papi, because he has to do everything, I really want to slap them upside the head.

I really want to scream at them and tell them to take their judgement somewhere else.

Go look in the mirror and tell me that you're working just as hard as me.  I can almost guarantee I'll win that game.

I know this because I'm a stubborn mother fucker.  I will win or hurt myself trying.

Earlier on in the day, another asshole pissed me off because he wouldn't respect that Chaz Bono is a male.

Can you believe it?  Me!!

This femme was pissed off because someone wouldn't give the proper respect for a trans person.

Who is that!?!?  Definitely not the same girl from two years ago, that's for sure.  That absolutely blew me away.

Then I realized, we all have a path of learning.

Really though, what it comes down to, is that we all pass judgement, whether we want to admit it or not.  We get really pissed when someone passes judgement upon us, but we turn around and do it straight back at them, tit for tat.

We're all human, but we can all learn to keep our minds open to things we don't understand.

This girl has no idea how hard I work just to keep up with everyday life like a healthy able-bodied person does.

This guy has no idea how hard it is to be a trans person and be disrespected in being called by the wrong gender, even by the person they love the most.

I mean really, look at Chaz Bono.  Is there anything in there that you can say is female about him?  The only way this person could say 'she' about him was because he had prior knowledge.

The other day, Papi and I were in the cop shop getting our fingerprints done for the consulate of the Dominican Republic, and there was a spot for previous names or aliases.  Papi had put his previous 'female' name in this spot like a law abiding citizen.

The woman thought my love had put my name in there by accident, because there's no way he could be named with such a feminine name.

When mi esposo proceeded to explain that he is a transgender person, the woman stated, "Wow!  Good for you!  I would have never known!"

That made Papi proud.

However, then she had knowledge.  She knew a secret; that Papi was called by a former pronoun.  She respected him though, and treated him like a male being.

Unlike this crud of a Facebook guy that called Chaz a she/he and a she.

As much as I'm pissed, I realize, we all pass judgement.

As soon as this girl assumed I do fuck all for our relationship, I jumped straight to judging her path, in an energetic way to hurt her back.  Good thing I didn't text her and say anything I would regret today.

I had a chance to sleep on it and realize that she only sees one side, because I never allow her to see mine.

We all judge.  Nobody is exempt from it.  But perhaps, we can try to see another person's view in the story.

It's far better than being pissed off.

i balance my self-confidence with modesty


  1. Aww, A, it's true we all tend to be more sensitive when we are sick, but to tell you the truth, no, I think you are angry because people are assholes. That whole "she/he" thing is just disrespectful. To anyone. I don't see what is so hard about giving someone the pronoun they self-identify with. So you disapprove of someone's life, someone you do not know, someone you can't possibly understand, yet you still feel like you have a right to disrespect them, and the group of people they represent? No, that is an asshole.
    As for people judging your relationship... yeah, people only see what they see. I'm in the same boat. I get "friends" who joke about the fact that C is the only one who is working. Sometimes it pisses me off, sometimes I can brush it off. I'm glad you did not do something you regret today, but I don't think you being hurt makes you judgmental. It makes you human.

    1. people really are assholes. and they teach children of the next generation.

      and the judging, i have to admit my part, even if i did get hurt, i judged right on back. i was wrong. no matter what anyone thinks.

      i need to brush it off and know my strengths.

  2. You are a much better person than me, I'm afraid I would probably be regretting the text by now, when it comes to loved ones there is no stopping me or my mouth :/ I do have the ability to appologise when i've flown of the handle though, but mostly I don't! because.... well I'm very rarely wrong hehehexx

    1. i'm learning to wait on my emotions. they're too much like a smoking gun!!!


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