Or I might cry.
I want to have a day with my love without any tears. I asked for a no speak (about 'it') day. Today was her 2nd testosterone treatment day. I'm really not ready for this. She needs help with doing it and I just can't be the one.
It was hard enough going to the surgeon's office the other day. For some reason, 't' makes me sick to my stomach. People take it for medicinal reasons and I can handle it, but when people are doing it strictly for the effects of 'manhood', I cringe, feel sick and get very uncomfortable.
As I was this morning. Started off my day with my usual breakfast only it was eaten in a different room, because she was doing the deed. She has so much trouble doing it to herself and I could hear her suffering through it. I just ate my breakfast and didn't speak.
She wanted comforting afterward, but I could just stare at the nothing in front of me.
Don't speak. Or I might cry.
So, I had to ask her not to talk about 'the deed' so that I could spend a day with her and not cry.
Right now she's out getting things ready to go to the dump. My other unfavorable past-time that is a common occurrence. So, it's not a fun day. It's a sick to my stomach day where I just need to spend it having fun with her, even if it is the dump. That's honestly not going to make me cry.
The objective today is not to cry.