Tuesday, July 24, 2012

fuck you starbucks.

I'm on a mission and I need the help of all my Blogger Friends.

Do you go to Starbucks?

I don't really support them all that much, as I support local, ethical coffee shops that have organic coffee, but occasionally I will.  If it's a choice between a shop with no non-dairy substitutes ...

... ahem TIMMIES!!!! you mother fuckers ... how many letters do i have to write?!?!? ...

... or Starbucks, of course I'll go there, because I HATE black coffee.

Unless there's cinnamon brewed into it.

But I won't be getting into talking about my perfect, Dominican style coffee I make every morning.

Anyway, now I have even more reason not to support Starbucks.

Their honey.

That's right.


So, they've started using these 'packets' of honey instead of the traditional honey bear or some other variation of honey jar.

First of all, this is extremely non-environmental.

Second of all, the fucking honey goes all over my hands!

Third of all, I can't rip the packets open with my teeth, because of my Brace Face! 

There's also the gross thought of the person before me, having picked their ass, not washed their hands and reached into that bowl of packets with their cruddy, germ infested fingers.

... shudders ...


I've started asking them for scissors.

Here's what I want everyone to do!

Ask for scissors!

What will happen is they'll get sick and fucking tired of grabbing the scissors, not to mention they'll have to clean them off all the time, and they will switch back to the honey bear.

Then there's the fact that some of those scissors will go missing and that will be very costly for them.

I'm on a mission folks!

Help me make a change to their ridiculous honey situation.

In order for little ol' me to make an impact, I'd have to spend a gazillion bucks to make them crazy, and I really don't like giving a big corporation my money if I don't have to.

Will you help me?

If you support Starbucks, ask for scissors for their honey and get the honey all over the scissors too!

That would make them even more insane!

It's also kinda fun to watch the barista roll their eyes when you ask for them.

It's the only way I can think of.

Short of us all writing an email.

We all know nobody's going to do that.

Well, except for me. 

I did, but I'm kinda crazy that way.

i have the power to realize my goals


  1. Sorry...I hardly ever go to Starbuck's. I usually go to a local independent coffee shop.

    1. my first choice is local independent. i generally support JJ Bean. there are times when i can't get to one, and i WOULD go to tim horton's, because they started out canadian, but they don't have dairy.


      when i'm in a hurry, i will begrudgingly choose starbucks. but the honey many! gimme a break on the honey bitches!!!!

  2. I go to Starbucks more than I care to admit. I don't usually get anything that needs honey though! But I'd be happy to help!

    1. add a little honey and use the scissors lol!

      or even just pretend and make a mess with the honey lol!

      i'm waiting for their response when i wrote to them today.

  3. Sometimes change for the sake of change is a fucking stupid thing to do.

    I'll ask for left handed scissors!

    - Daz

    1. omg.

      that's awesome!!! try the right handed if they don't and make a mess lol!

  4. I would gladly help out but they still use a squeezy bottle here, and I think honey in coffee is just wrong eeeeyak don't like cinnamon that's for buns, don't like vanilla again for buns, don't like cocoa, coffee should taste like coffee nice and strong gives you a kick up the butt :)

    1. you're lucky they still have the bottle!!!!

      i can't have processed sugar, but i can have honey and maple syrup. maple syrup is NO GOOD in coffee, honey is ok ... my main sweetener i use is stevia, but i can't bring it around with me unless i want to purchase the stevia that is in PACKETS!!!

      i HATE PACKETS!!

      have we not learned about our environment yet? ugh.

    2. Well now I hate packets after the picture of someone scratching their arse you put in my head, note to self buy small scissors! Isn't there a new sugar made from some sort of leaf?

    3. that's stevia kiki! i use that at home. if i wanted to take alone 'packets', i would, but i usually just use the honey at the coffee shop.

      i really only have a 2nd cup outside of the home on small occasions.

  5. I added some cinnamon to the coffee in my French press yesterday. You didn't say how much to add, so I didn't go crazy, maybe 1/8 teaspoon at most. It tasted OK but doesn't really get me off. Maybe the right proportion would. Then again, I'm a black coffee drinker. Pure adrenaline. :)

    1. lol! i usually put in about 1 tablespoon and a half!! i go crazy :)

      if you're a black coffee drinker, you could handle the burn of the cinnamon!

      go crazy!


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