Saturday, October 29, 2011

Ok, so Papi didn't die ...

I think the most entertaining part about the day was that I ate all my food before 3:00.

I eat when I get stressed.  I ate my snack, lunch, dinner and desert all by 3:00.

While we were out in bum-fuck-nowhere, Papi kept asking me, "Are you ok?  Are you scared?  Did you take too much Crack Butter?"

no my love, i did not take enough crack butter ...

I didn't want to tell my love I was nervous, so I had to lie.  "No, I'm fine!" I said as convincing as I possibly could, channeling my inner, perky optimist.

Of course, I was then greeted by, "Good!  'Cuz if you said you were scared, then I'd be nervous!" 

yes, my love ... i do know that ...

The greatest Tranny Terrorist moment of the day award goes to Papi for the last words I heard him say before leaving my side for the surgery, "Oh!  You better kiss me in case I die!"

No, it wasn't a sweet nothing in my ear.  He said it to the WHOLE room.

People chuckled and I shook my head uttering threats, "I will kill you if you die."

Of course this was just a few minutes after I had a near thermo-nuclear melt down with the control freak nurse who must have been a cat in a former life.

"Who moved my cat toy?!?  Why is that door closed!?!  Don't you know I like to be fed here and not there anymore?!  Capiche!?!"


She wasn't freaking about cat toys, but she certainly didn't like that I had our knapsacks and personal items were on a wheelchair in her space.

The sweet intake nurse knew my back pain, and he, with his magical moustache, ...

... no seriously ... you have to see this thing to believe it!!! ...

... suggested I use the wheelchair to push my stuff along, rather than try to walk two feet and stop to say, "Ok.  Which way to emergency?  I've put my back out again."

Control Freak Nurse just couldn't handle this foreign article in the nurses' area.  When she realized that I just may cause a stink, she decided to let it go.

Which was a good choice, because that's when I finally gave in to my inner bitch and the rolling of eyes, death stare and deep breathing were activated.

I have to admit though, I was feeling rather edgy when I didn't get to see Papi right away.  Why do they do this to me all the time?!  It's worse than security at an airport sometimes!

I was expecting them to kick me out the room I because Papi wasn't there yet.  You see, after all the coocoos found me at the hospital, I managed to secretly find out what room Papi would be in and flew in there with my knapsack and bag wheelchair home.

I set up camp with my 'house' and when they came in, I said, "So, this is our room right?"

listen ... do you see me eating?  I'm married to the patient ... my room ... 

They kinda just looked at me ready to tell me I had to leave, then changed their minds, because they were sweet, lovely people.

So, I ate the rest of my food.

I then proceeded to listen to Papi snore for the rest of the day.

My love is doing fine and is all kinds of fun to laugh at.

Oh, the droopy face was awesome.

The only problem is that I don't like to leave Papi there.

So, Papi didn't die.

Now I don't have to kill him.

I get to bring him home in just a few short hours.


  1. I am glad all is well. I knew it would be! ;)

  2. lol twister, i knew as well ... i just couldn't handle all the death talk!!! now i don't have to hear it anymore!!!

  3. I'm glad it went ok, now the real food fun starts and you get to be the only one with 'ladies things' in the bathroom.

    Love to both of you :)XX

  4. I'm glad that everything went well!

  5. So glad to hear the surgery went well. "Hysterectomy" and "Day Surgery" do not go hand in hand where I'm from so I'm really surprised to read Papi was to be discharged from hospital in a matter of hours. Wow! Hope the recovery goes well. :) xx

  6. @dirty, i've already found an in to get more veggies in papi's diet mwahahaha!!!

    @dessie, thank you :)

    @vee, E went in yesterday, so it was about a day and a half stay. still seems pretty soon eh?

  7. I panicked about nothing but i guess you can't control panic attacks really.
    Hun I could tell you were nervous, you can't lie well at all :-> The Ativan had my back.
    This surgery was SOOOOOOO much better than the Chest reconstruction far anyways.

    Thank you to all for your well wishes and being so nice to my perfect lovely Wife :-> It means the world to me.

  8. Great news A! Am happy to hear both of yah are doing well! :)

  9. Sorry I couldn't respond over the weekend!

    I am so glad to hear that your papi is doing just fine! Yay!

  10. kim, i didn't do so well at responding this weekend either hehehe ... thank you for the well wishes my dear xo

  11. So glad all went well. I'm sucking right now at keeping up with blogs, but you were in my thoughts.

  12. aw jamie ... i know you're always around for me sweety ... even when you get too busy to drop by xoxo


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