Sunday, October 23, 2011

The day has come ...

The videoshoot was awesome.

I was told to stand in one place and, "Don't move." 

there's some orders i like to take ...

I can do that well, as long as my feet are grounded I won't wobble.

The best part of the day was when I was told there was too much boob in the shot.  Never has that happened in my life.

Anyway, they were so amazingly sensitive to my bitch of a back's needs, that I didn't wake up unable to get out of bed.

I woke up to a mewing of desperate cats, a cacophony of small dog barks, coffee in hand and a beautiful day to share with you the amazing phone call I received two days ago.

It's given me new ambition for what I'm doing here.

A friend, who has very quickly risen to Trust List stardom, called Papi and I the other night.

Papi calls him My Boifriend.  He's one of my favourite people right now, that's for sure.

He showed my article to some friends, who happen to have partners who have gone through the transformation with their loves.

The partners of the transitioning folks in these relationships cried when they read my article, saying, "This was exactly how I felt, but I couldn't say it."

They were afraid to speak.

Oh, how I understand.  And oh, how I want so badly to hold them and take away their fears, but I can't.  I can only support them, doing it on their own.

When My Person came over on the eve of a new year, she had no idea how much she would change my life from chronic, catatonic, La-Z-Boy dweller to the roaring lioness I feel I have become.

There have been a few opinions spewed onto my blob/blab, that I'm appreciative of having.

One of my ex's said it perfectly.  I was shocked that people would allow horrid homophobic words to be published.  This wise ex said, "It's important for everyone to know what's out there.  We need to know what we're up against."

And this is how I feel about the name calling that I've been subject to since the article.  I know what I'm up against.

I'd rather have people excreting the hate to my face, than behind my back.

For some reason, I like to hear the flip side.

And at the same time, I also flourish when those around me who love me fight back in my defense.

sticks and stones bitches ... sticks 'n stones ...

It's important for myself, and others who are like minded, that we hear what people are arming themselves with.

my favourite was 'crude' ... is it so wrong that i like it?!

One comment from the article asked, where on earth I heard such silencing words.  Where were these people who label us transphobic and hate us for our honest feelings?

Check the comments out, that's all I have to say.

They're there in black and white.

These were the people who kept me silenced for 6 weeks straight.

Well, for those who need someone else's voice to say it for them, I want to tell you, I'm here roaring louder with every day I get stronger.

You can speak about your grief, We will never see it as fear.

We'll see it as healthy growth, and will watch you remove each fear one by one, as you see your love change into the person that you didn't know was inside that previous confinement.

We are the luckiest people to have the experience of watching our soul mates be released to freedom, which in turn helps us grow into someone we never knew we could be.

I'm out the other side now.

I'm ready to be Your Person.


  1. Your Boifriend is one of my favourite people too. :)

    You are amazing and your honesty is refreshing. Keep it comin'!

  2. brandy thank you ... and yeah ... i'm in the best company on this journey xo

  3. I just want to punch the air for you Andrea :)

  4. I'm with dcg. :)
    Andrea, I've read your article many times and each time I just shake my head at some of the comments that follow. It beggars belief that the very people who cry out for freedom and acceptance in this crazy world would shout you down for having the courage to speak about your journey. Don't ever stop what you're doing, Andrea, don't be silenced because there are too many people who need the likes of you to speak up when they're unable to find their own voice. You are an incredibly inspiring woman. x

  5. My wife has gone through a lot of the same emotions you have and we think it rocks that you're talking about it! Don't let the assholes get to you :)

  6. @dirty, i'll drop by TCS and give you a fist pump extravaganza xoxo

    @vee, i'll see you there too doll! and no ... you think any of these can scare me now? hehehe ... a year ago, maybe, but now? nope. i won't be bullied.

    @extro, we need you here! i need your wife. it would sure be nice to hear from her sometime xo

  7. I'll send her your way as soon as she gets home (she's on a bizniz trip right now) - she's an amazing advocate!!! Keep talking, keep fighting and keep saying what others are afraid to - you're doing a wonderful thing!! And all those mean people who say those horrible things to you - pardon my nasty mouth, but FUCK EM! No one has the right to silence another person. (So glad I found this blog)

  8. Great article Andrea. Just read it now and I think it was good. I am not and have not been in your situation or learning curve, because it is re-learning the one you love no matter what the situation is.

    But your honesty is refreshing. You are stronger than what you think and it's great that each day you find yourself falling in love again!

    Kudos to you and yours! REALLY!!!!

    Btw, I'm still missing you!

  9. extro, thank you! i would love to have another fighter on my side :) building an army of acceptance one by one xo

    @kim, thank you for the kudos :) i'm missing you too! i have been so behind on my reading with my friends works! life is so busy ... and wonderful

  10. Andrea,

    You are so amazing my dear :) It is such an honour and a privilege to know you and Papi. You have both come through so much, now you are inspiring and educating others. It is heart-warming to watch :) I was thinking of you the other night and a quote sprung to mind, to my mind it describes you in a nutshell.

    "I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today."
    William Allen White

    Keep on keepin on rock my world

    Love Ya,

    The "Boifriend" ;)

  11. Erik, that quote is so beautiful. i may have to print it out on paper so that i can see it more often.

    you definitely are the world's best boifriend xo


your comments make this world feel smaller ... and you feel closer