Here's something I never, ever thought that I would have to think about.
Apparently the men have different 'rules' in regards to waiting for the cubicle toilet than in the ladies do.
We ladies line up, and in a civil manner, we wait for one of the stalls to open and the next in the queue is granted their turn.
This phenomenon is different in the men's.
You know how when you go to the grocery store, you look for the 'perfect' lane?
We think, "Ah-ha! This is the fastest lane!" and we make the choice to park our overfilled buggy, in hopes that we'll move faster than the lane beside us.
Sometimes, we're the winner in the race, and other times, we realize we have a dud and start ogling the other lines in hopes that we can still make up the time we've lost.
Well, I've learned that men eye up the stalls in a very similar manner, choose the perfect one, and wait in front of the door.
So, even if the dude next to you was behind you in the line, and they chose the fastest stall, they get in first.
Sounds a bit barbaric to me.
Anyway, last night my love went to a football game and found himself waiting in a men's washroom line up.
This is where things could be dangerous for Papi, and where fear could set in.
Men are mostly oblivious to the fact that Papi is transitioning to a man.
However, there was mi esposo, waiting in the men's line that wasn't moving fast enough for his liking.
As a knee jerk reaction, Papi scooted over to the women's line, forgetting that this is no longer an option.
When Papi realized this, he removed himself ...
just thought i'd let you know that i now feel more comfortable writing male pronouns ... i just realized it myself, so i thought i'd share mid-thought ... because that's how i roll ...
... and proceeded to park his ass with the boys again.
They probably didn't notice, because really, all they want to get in and out of the washroom fast enough to refill their bladders with beer again.
This is when my love finally got into the washroom and saw the bathroom stall phenomenon.
My love is still a bit nervous about his PeeCock craft, so he uses a stall until he feels confident that he can tinkle just as good as the next.
Also, that brings us to the other moment of 'hmmmm ...'.
Mi esposo asks me, "When men go to the urinal, how far down do they unzip?"
i'd like to point out that my love asked me ... how the fuck would i know?!?! remember?!?! penis phobia over here!!!
However, Papi has a good point. You can't just go in and study men at a urinal. Especially at a football game!
The testosterone is flying high in these kinda settings. Mi esposo would be due for a beat-down if he stood there studying manly mens' actions at a urinal.
Seriously. They're pumped full of liquid courage.
So there I was, listening to my love's verbal pondering and thought, "Damn! Someone needs to help F-Ms out!"
There should be some sorta grooming school.
I know that some people will coach M-Fs with their fledgling female swagger and womanly nuances.
Papi needs some male coaching.
I'm definitely not the one to ask.
So, if you care to leave your suggestions in the comments box down below, I'm sure Papi would be happy with the support.
This lining up at the stall rule.
Dear males: What the fuck is that about?
**update, i thought i'd mention something about the Rah-Rah-Tranny issue ... well, this is my blob/blab and i think i'll stick to my guns and keep my blob/blab the way it always has been. sorry charlie ... but i'll only be restricting it when it comes to outside sources. thank you. you may now resume you previously scheduled reading**