"You want me to call a wambulance I'll pack you some cheese to go along with your whine"
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
Anyone who has felt the pain of abusive words can tell you this.
The abusive words that my family hurled at one another have made me the loonie-toon I am today. These are the words that have kept me feeling unworthy of existing.
When someone is reaching out and saying how much they're hurting, they don't need to be told, "Suck it up. Quit whining."
They need to be supported.
If someone is hurting, chances are they do it in silence, for fear of the above attitude being hurled at them.
When we suffer in silence, our minds will tell us all sorts of lies to keep us in the rut of torture.
Those who have never felt suicidal or depressed have absolutely no idea what it is like to endure this excruciating angst.
The person who is writhing in pain stands on the edge of a very steep cliff. It doesn't take much to push them even an inch closer to their threshold.
So, when someone tries to reach out, followed by someone telling us we're whining, it doesn't heal us. It just allows us to berate ourselves a little more.
I have had friends in my life that can't handle my emotional breakdowns. Fair enough. Not everybody can.
But if we are telling you that we're hurting, be honest and tell us your shortcomings are that you don't know how to support someone who is feeling this way, because you don't understand.
Please don't try to silence the person. If you don't have it in you to support, it's ok!
Plenty of people aren't supportive and they get along with all the others who don't need any.
However, we who suffer deserve to be set free to find the support we need.
We do not need to be put even further down into our Pit of Doom, so that we listen to the voices that tell us we don't really deserve to be here on this planet.
You never know what stage someone's depression is at. You could never know, because you're not that person.
But I'll tell you one thing, if someone is at a point in their life where they're telling you how much pain they're in, telling them to quit whining, even as a joke to lighten a mood, is hurtful.
You never know if that person will finally have enough of the pain that they're considering stopping it by vanishing all together.
You never know if those words will be the vehicle that drives us 6 feet under.
Don't kid yourself.
These words were the very reason I was so afraid to open my mouth just over a year ago.
I was terrified that I'd be told, "You have nothing to cry about," like my mother always said.
If someone is hurting and you don't know how to support them, tell them. You'll probably hear from them that they just need you to listen.
Sometimes, all we need is to get those words out of our mouths, so they will begin to leave our brains, and eventually leave our souls in peace.
You never know what stage someone's suicidal idealism is at.
Do you want to be the one to push them over the edge and watch them land in a heap of broken bones?
So, please, choose your words wisely.
i release desperation and allow love to find me