I need today to be better than yesterday. We don't need another Hurricane Andréa sighting.
Today is that tomorrow I waited for to be so much better.
Yesterday started with my kitchen tap exploding in my face. That was just for trying to make my coffee to make me smile first thing in the a.m.
It went downhill fast from there.
I won't dwell on the details of the long brutal day that seemed to be fucked up with every move I made.
I went to bed early so that I could just try this day again.
I didn't really get to sleep early, I just thought that if I went to bed nothing could get me there.
It was great until I woke up.
I woke up, wondering how much time I had left to sleep, so I reached for my phone to check and blammo!
Orange juice glass from the night before flew into the wall, smashing and sending OJ everywhere.
I'm going to pretend that the glass was just a hangover from yesterday's hell.
Now that the glass is gone, everything should be better, right?!
As long as I can keep that creep of a cat, The Bastard Prince, away from my eggs.
Just a second here ...
... there. I ate the last piece. I'm not going to let that hairy mongrel fuck up my breakfast.
Today will be better than yesterday. It has to be.
I also decided that for every fucked up thing that happens I'm going to say something nice to myself.
I can't do anything about the things I can't control, like a bad day, but I can be nicer to myself.
While I was searching the house for an exercise bra yesterday, I berated myself for not being organized enough.
I reprimanded myself every time something screwed up.
I almost cried when the 'short bus' left me stranded. My muscles started to seize from sitting, then standing too long. The more I got stressed, the more my back flared up and I realized there was no way that my bitch of a back would get me home on public transit if that little yellow bus never showed up to get me.
The point is, I got myself very worked up over being abandoned at my gym. I was supposed to be there to make my back feel better.
It did feel better until I stood there for 45 minutes.
I thought that it was my fault because I wasn't able to find my good energy to make my day go any smoother.
It really had nothing to do with me.
I don't need to be mean to myself for the choices that life hands me. I need to remember that I'm human, and that I can only do what I can.
Later in the afternoon, I cranked some White Zombie, Motorhead, I Mother Earth and any other band on that playlist I made for days like that.
It's entitled, "I'm SO Angry!"
I did the cripple mosh pit all by myself and laughed at my feet on the floor dance I can do.
Even if I can't dance like I used to, I can still move to the beat. That worked for me until the next fucked up thing happened.
Point is, it wasn't a day for crooning along to country music. It was a day to growl along with some of the heavier music greats that I love so much.
Well, here we are in the new day.
Maybe I'll just bring along my headphones and every time something really warped happens, I'll do my cripple mosh.
Perhaps someone will send me away to that place for nutburgers so I can have a rest.
Or maybe, I'll just say nice things to myself today.
today i will be nice to myself, even if life isn't