Tuesday, April 3, 2012


What's normal?

It's my normal, and I found a bit of it today.

It was scattered as I tried to remember my routine before the jaw surgery.

I need a lot of repetition to do things seamlessly.  This new brain needs the daily echo of things I do frequently, lest I stand and stare at the counter for 10 minutes, trying to figure out what to do first to make my coffee.

My routine was not impeccable this morning, however, today I didn't dump my eggs down between the stove and the counter, in hair and dried onion bits which never made it into the pan many months ago.

Normal is my ability to make myself breakfast, and eat it.

Normal is my ability to exercise for where my body is now.

They've stopped trying to make me what they think is normal.

I have a new normal, and today I got a little of it back.

However, I'm still eating my eggs scrambled.  I still need soft food.

Yet, when I looked in the mirror today, I could safely say I recognize myself.

I was actually a bit worried that those chipmunk cheeks would never go down!!!

They're looking a lot more normal.

That's right.

I said it.


Not your normal, but my normal.

I'm proud that I strive for normalcy in my life.

I'm proud that I don't enjoy being unemployed while I fight to get back my normalcy of a job.

I'm a bit like a border collie.  You keep throwing that ball, and I'll keep wobbling around for it, even if my legs are failing and I'm tripping over myself.

I will get the ball every time.

Even if it means swimming in murky, duck pooped water.

I'll get your ball.

I have a new normal.

I'm proud of my normal.

I can exercise with my new body, I can be happy with my new brain, and I can recognize my new jaw.

It does look a little weird, though.  And I may venture to say, my smile feels just a little bit prettier now that my bottom teeth aren't hidden by the shadow of my uppers.

I now look more like my very own baby sister who has the prettiest smile in the world.

But normal.

Normal has the right to reserve changes without notice.

We have to read the fine print.

What's your normal?

Is it attainable?

i have a healthy body


  1. My normal is two stone lighter!
    It is most definately attainable I just like food to much I might have to move my normal goalposts ever so slightly and aim for 1 stone lighter :)

    1. oh you're one of those 'stone' people! a couple of my closest friends use that language lol!

      OUR normal is all we can ask for.

  2. Well let's see: You are a brilliant talented musician, and a beautiful writer. You have helped people going through what you are. Had a voice when you were told to be silent. And have shown more unconditional love than most people know exists. Normal has got nothing on you. Your normal kicks ass. But I am glad you are feeling more yourself.

    1. that is THE best way to think about it jamie.

      feeling myself. even amongst the difficulties, i feel like myself.


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