All my life I've known that one on one friendships have been the best way to go for me.
Since a young age, I've witnessed people traveling in herds.
What I've noticed, is it seems that when people travel in herds, they lose their independent thinking.
Someone will decide that nobody is allowed to be friends with a certain person and the rest will agree and follow.
Sounds a bit like high school, or even kindergarten right?
It's not. It's right here in the 'adult' gay 'community'.
I'm a one on one person by heart, mostly because I can only trust one person at a time.
As soon as people start traveling in herds and listening to The Grand Poohbah whomever he, she, it or they may be, then they can't seem to make an informed decision by themselves.
It's no wonder I retreat and only share one on one time with people who have earned my trust.
I just found out the Hen Peckers have done the same thing to a third kind-hearted, sweet-souled person I know.
I have also learned about in fighting and accusations from one person to the next.
Not to mention all the people who decide that anyone who isn't versed well in the transgender community are to be deemed 'transphobic' while they try to learn about our brave new world.
What the fuck is going on here?!?!
Each and every loving person in my life has been affected by this ridiculousness.
Why the hell can't we be kind to one another? Why the fuck can't we be mature and talk out our differences? Why the fuck can't we grow up?
I'll stick to my one on one hangouts thank you very much.
Every person I love, who treats me with love, is deserving of my friendship.
I don't give a flying fuck who said what to whom.
I don't give a flying fuck about lies and accusations meant to harm another individual's reputation in the name of jealousy.
I don't give a mother fucking shit about the 'mean girls' anymore.
... trust me ... 'mean girls' is only a name ... there's plenty of 'mean girls' in the form of male as well ...
They can rot in their stew of hatred that seems to be bubbling and running over the edges. Yeah, we have to smell the abhorrent burning flesh as it hits the red hot burners, searing in it's fate.
How can people be so heartless? How can the 'community' hold any one of these individuals up on a pedestal?
We need to open our eyes.
There's so much going on out there with the young ones being bullied, but what about adults?
I'd love to say it gets better to these young ones, but honestly, it can't. I'm glad I never made my 'it gets better' video for my friend, because it would have be a lie.
Life only gets better if we're lucky enough to not have fallen prey to people who still bully as an adult.
So, no, I'm sorry. It doesn't really get better. We just make better choices as to who to spend our time with.
Fucking well knock it off everyone!
We all need to fucking heal from the bullshit that is being passed around our people.
How the fuck can we call this a 'community' when there's so much hatred?
At this point, as far as I'm concerned, there is no 'community'.
There are only individuals who are good-hearted that we can pick and choose to support us, and then there are the bullies in their gangs.
I'm so goddam fucking sick of it.
Grow the fuck up.
when i am surrounded by love, i can do anything
will hazard to guess heterosexism is in part responsible for lack of maturity? queers don't get the same kinds of adolescent socializing/dating experiences that straight folx have access to? (at least i didn't..)
ReplyDeletegroup dynamics have always been difficult for me, and as a result i tend to be more comfortable alone or 1:1.
hopefully folx find their emotional intelligence sooner or later?
xo
i really hope they find it as well carmen.
Deletei do get that possibly their maturity has been delayed because of the het world.
i don't know.
all i know is, people are so mean, and i just don't understand the backstabbing and bully mentality
I've never been a fan of my experience with the Queer Community here. The straights have had my back from day one can't say the same about the queers :->
ReplyDeletePapi
i know papi, we get to run away with the goats.
Deletethey will never spread lies or tell people to hate us.
Yuppers. I hear/think the exact sentiments all the time from ppl who know the Vancouver queermunity is quirky.
ReplyDeleteU can trust the goats to be goats.
:)
i don't understand. born and raised in vancouver and i've never seen anything so ridiculously evil.
Deleteis it something in the water?
get me to the goats.
I experience this on a daily basis...I can't even date anyone who hasn't heard some stupid made up rumor about me...
ReplyDeleteanonymous, i can tell you that there are sooooo many stories about me out there. the only people who know the truth, and believe the truth deserve to be a part of my life.
Deletesounds like you as well xo
I am miles away and feel so isolated for all the reasons you talk about. I have also been judged and excluded from things for who I choose to be friends (or choose not to be friends with) or what I am perceived to have done or some rumour and while it is hurtful I also think that I really don't want to be friends with people who tell me who I can hang out with or would judge me without really knowing me. It don't feel part of the "community" on the other hand the "community" is different things and people depending on who you are and your perspective and who your friends are. I think I am a friend worth having. If someone doesn't want to take the time to find that out or nurture a friendship with me I accept that. I need good and true friends, not judgemental mean friends. I don't know what is happening or to whom but I too have seen it and I hate it and I am so sorry it is happening to them.
ReplyDeleteannie i'm so sorry. you know i understand.
Deleteone thing i do know, is there are really good people out there. i've found them, after i found 'me' and what i deserve in my life.
i'm so sorry that you're one of the many who have to deal with these people.
i understand. and you'll find the good people out there if you start looking for them. they DO exist. i've found them xo
I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteThe gay "community" can be as bad or worse than any other group of people.
At least here in Houston they can be.
There's no way not to say the wrong thing. It amazes me that folks who have been forced to shoulder so much while finding their identities can be so overly horrible among "their own" later on.
It would be great to be able to say LGBT folks are evolved in some way that the rest of society isn't. But it's not true at all. We're exactly like everyone else...
it really would be nice if our community would walk the walk and set a good example, but nope ...
Deletei'm sorry it's the same in your city :(
I'm lucky I learned this lesson at a young age and have not wasted to much time with the wrong people.
ReplyDeletei have one good freind for life, I have a close family these people I trust with my life.
I have other freinds who may or may not remain in my life I will survive without them, I do not and will never tollerate mean girls end of !!
i'm not tolerating the mean girls any more either.
Deletenot at all.
Good for you life is way to short to waste it on lost causes.
Delete