Monday, January 17, 2011


I feel like a kid on Xmas.

I get to see my love in 12 hours.

Last night we didn't get our Facebook chat because that site was behaving so unfavourably.  Papi, a Facebook chatter pro, told me just to keep turning on and off the chat and it would allow us to speak.

Ummm ... no.

Too much trouble.  I don't want difficulty when I speak to mi esposo.  So, we did our bedtime chat old school.

A telephone.

To hear my love's voice was so much better anyway.  It was like I had fallen in love all over again.

Just to hear Papi speak so frustratingly about the day at work and our 6 animals' intense performances was like soft smooth butter draping my favourite vegetables.

I am so very much in love with mi esposo.

Makes me wonder, if my heart had've been punctured by those terrifying words about my perfect butch being transgendered, and I went to my sister's sooner, would I have realized just how much I love this beautiful person?

And that all that really matters is love?

It's possible.

There's also the potential that being so distraught I may not have been thinking as clear as I am now.  Now, since finding My Person and My Other Person who finally let me know that it's all going to be ok.  My two trail blazers who have given me a path to walk on.

There is a chance that if I left my love sooner, the distress of being in the pit of doom would've made me switch to the other side.  That perhaps I don't want to have my marriage change, and that I should leave to keep it frozen in time.

Either way, I'll never know.  Just like the questions that Papi asked me after the Molotov cocktail was thrown, "Would you have called off the marriage if I had have told you I wanted the male transformation before?"

We'll never know.  The past is gone.

Just like I really don't know my future with mi esposo.  It could turn out to be the best relationship life has ever handed two lucky people.  The possibilities are endless when I look at past and future.  It's a reminder that I have to stay in the present.

Right now all I know is that I'm so thrilled to get back to Papi.

12 hours.

Half a day.

My Romeo awaits.

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