Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Say hello to my little friend.

I have to rationalize about why there hasn't been any sexy time.

First it was the braces.  I didn't want to get locked into Papi's brace face.  That could be scary.

Then it was the top surgery.  My love was so fragile that I couldn't even get a hug.  That left me longing for mi esposo's cuddles, but was another justification as to why we weren't having a romp.

Well, last night Papi ordered me into bed.

i like it

Yet, that didn't stop me.  I tried another excuse.  I felt like I had to share that my stomach wasn't top shape right now.  Perhaps we didn't want to 'scents' the wrath of my issue?

Oh, no.

That wasn't a good enough reason for my love.

The truth is though, ever since the 5 Foot Clitoris moved in, I'm very uncomfortable with sex.

It wasn't like it was before, where I knew my love's body and could just jump on in with no hesitation.  I knew what to do and when to do it.

Things have changed.

Papi has changed.

It's like starting all over.

My love was adamant that I'd get a little up close and personal time with the 5 Foot Clitoris.

you're really going to make me do this now aren't you?!?!

At first, all I wanted to do was look at it and introduce myself.

"hey how are ya?  i'm new in town and i thought we could grab a bite to eat?"

But I quickly realized that this exploration wasn't really sexy.  It was more like I was a gynecologist looking at a specimen.


Not sexy.

So I dived in.

I didn't know what to do.  Honestly!  The 5 Foot Clitoris is intimidating!  It was beyond that little nut I'd play with with my tongue.

It really did feel more like a miniature penis.

It was so difficult not to revert back to the dislike of the bio-male anatomy that I had to endure in my stint of oh so many years in the closet.

I would have to be snap drunk or sky high to go anywhere near those man bits, and here I was, face to face with the mini-me version who was sticking out it's own tongue, taunting me.

My love's smell was also different and will take some time to get used to.  It wasn't like the Man Stink that occurred near the beginning of this roller coaster, but indeed it was not what I was used to.

time to get out the chocolate sauce?

None-the-less, I did my best, and dammit, I just felt like I was flailing.  I have no fucking idea how to work with this.

I guess I'll have to practise.


A side note to Tricia, one of my blogger friends, here is the updated photo of Papi, the Tranny Terrorist.

And no, this was not taken after sexy time ...


  1. This is fascinating to me. I'm so curious, I have so many questions.

    I can't imagine the emotional trauma involved - for BOTH of you - in going through this process.

  2. yeah tricia, it is indeed a roller coaster. laughs, tears, frustration, denial, good god the list goes on

  3. Honestly, though? That sounds like any relationship. :) The real question is whether or not the two of you bring out the best in each other. And if you do, you're both very blessed to have found each other in this crazy, crazy world. :)

  4. Lucky you - without having to deal with the trauma of a break up you get to have the excitement of a new lovers body to explore.

    OK - I know it's not one you asked for or wanted but you already love the person it comes with, and sex is so much better with someone you love, so you're kinda getting a good deal here. And you don't have to go through the whole teaching the new squeeze what you like thing.
    Although to my mind that's probably not such a big deal for lesbians - no diagram needed. Oh the 'fun' I have saying "NO, not that bit, NOT like that" haha. Guess that situation got reversed though. lol.

    And since testosterone increases sex drive...happy days :)
    ps For what it's worth Papi looks very handsome - and happy - and it certainly looks like a job very well done to me. Very neat indeed.

  5. Wow, he looks great! I'm amazed at how well it is healing up.

  6. tricia, you really are right. any relationship has 'stuff' to work out.

    dirty, it is completely reversed :) i have noooo idea what's going on

    bio, everyone does say how good it looks.

    i still see flat breasts. i guess it will come with time

  7. He did heal up well, and the surgeon did an AMAZING job on the transformation.

    In any case, I really hope things get easier for you, Ande. You deserve it.

  8. thank you for the well wishes nick xo

    i do still see flat breasts, but i think when all the scars fade, i will see something more along the lines of what papi wants to be seen

  9. Oh you look at that. Papi looks really good.
    And I wish both of you well and an enduring love that rises above all odds!

  10. thank you for the well wishes psycho xo yeah ... everyone likes the papi look :)


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