Monday, December 12, 2011

My ass.

It occurred to me last night, that my physio has seen my ass more times than anyone I know.  Well, that excludes my mom, my baby sister, some long term lovers and my hus-butch excluded.


He's been shoving needles into my butt flesh 3 days a week now for over a year.

If I tally it up, that's around 140 times he's had me lying face down on a 'chiropractic' bed that puts straight line creases on my face.

It's oh so fun to leave there with vertical lines looking like scars down my cheeks.

My face cheeks that is.

My booty always looks like a swarm of bees got to it.

That and my t-shirts all have little spots of blood on the back.

I've decided that my favourite t-shirts don't get to come with me to physio.

I've also realized it's easier for him to get to my bum if I wear g-strings.

I don't need any more polka dotted shirts, and besides, g-strings look better in my yoga pants.  It's a sad day when I have panty lines bulging through my bubble butt.

I also know that I need to bring food with me after every visit, or it will be a miserable drive home.

After he's finished with me in the torture chamber, I have to exercise for about an hour and 15 minutes and that makes me hungry!

I like exercising, so that part makes me happy.

Well, if I'm being honest, the needles up my backside feel good too.

In that masochistic kinda way, that is.

Every time I go, I make my 'rough around the edges friends' proud.

I give a little song with every needle he digs down to my bones.

I'm pretty sure that new patients tremble in fear if they're there for the first time, and have to hear my croonings of pain.

My Needle Master gets a chuckle out of it.

He also likes the fact that I have high pain tolerance so that he can get right in there and leave permanent etchings on my bones.


I'm exaggerating.

He doesn't leave designs on my skeleton.

However, it sure feels like it when he gets so far into my flesh that my muscles literally jump off the table.

Once when I was in there, another physio had to come in and take the stimulation machine out of the room, but was too embarrassed to wipe my ass clean of the jelly that was in place.

I left with a smear of goo all inside the butt of my pants.

It was not pleasant.

I would rather he saw my ass.

It's a good ass!

It's one of my best ass-ets!

i'm sorry ... but you had to see that one coming ...

The Needle Master said, "Well, he should have at least asked your ass out for dinner before he started taking a peek."

And on that note, it's time to get ready for today's torture, and he's going to have a good time with it today that's for sure.  I'm a little worse for wear after composing this week.  I sat way too much and my bitch of a back is thoroughly pissed at me.

Well, my coffee is cold and my eggs are finished.

That means my day has begun.

I hope your day finds you joy.


  1. Haha, the best post ever :)

    You make the most scary things sound so happy thanks for the smile ♥

  2. Shouldn't you put a pic of your Fab Ass up?

  3. @alex, glad you enjoyed it hehe

    @bio, i resemble that comment

    @papi, no. privileged only.

  4. Um hun, i'm pretty sure lots of people have seen your bum and keep seeing it...


your comments make this world feel smaller ... and you feel closer