Tuesday, December 27, 2011

It's coming ...

When Papi and I were wrapping gifts for our niece and nephew, The Turkey, The Porkchop and their entourage of family members, I did something that seemed fun & silly.

What I didn't realize is that it was a big step compared to where I was a year ago.

It really is a good feeling to give, and with every piece of tape Papi handed me, we cloaked the gifts with sparkly penguins, sliding down snow packed mountains of love.

On each of the little tags that we so carefully place on a gift, we tend to write who it's from with a feeling of joy, anticipating their eyes showing happiness when they look at who the present was from.

Well, I wrote, "Love Auntie Andréa & Uncle Easton."

May seem like a no brainer to you, but to me, the fact that I effortlessly placed 'uncle' on the card with a great big smile had me surprised at myself.

I do know that once I've accepted something, my brain rests much better, and here is my proof that I'm really doing well with the male transformation.

My family probably didn't even blink an eye at the tag.

I mean, not many of us really do.

We trust that the person who is giving us the gifts will hand it to the correct person, and the carnage of paper flying begins.

Yet, I know it was there.

Papi knows it was there.

My love was thrilled with the prospect that he could now be called 'uncle'.

It seems so strange to be going along with this venture smoothly.

I never knew that I would.  I had a hard time believing I would get over this.

Now that we're settling into our places in the relationship, it's feeling much more sturdy.

I feel confident of the longevity of our time spent together.

There's way less time spent processing the transformation.  It has now been replaced by planning our move to the Dominican Republic.

It's coming!

Our time will be here soon!

Well, within 2 years that is.  Yet, just looking at how fast 3 years went from my motorcycle accident, time truly does fly, even if you're not having fun.

Right now, we're looking at what land we can find for the move.  It's not time to buy, but time to window shop.

The point of telling you this, is that I now feel like this blob/blab is moving toward my own personal journey of healing from my ghosts of torment past, as well as the insanity that will be coming along with our move.

Honestly.

What kind of city folk just decide to move and live off goats' dairy, chickens' eggs, and a veggie garden?

I don't even do well with indoor plants, however, if I'm growing my own food, I'm pretty sure I'll be taking care of my chard, collards and kale with more intensity than I feel for watering a cactus.

Anyway, it really is the time of year to reflect.

The new year is coming.

4 more days of gratitude to bring 2012 in with positive emotions, and fight off the Xmas Meltdown.

I'm grateful we have shelter from the pouring, winter rain.

I'm grateful to be able to see what's good in my life.

I'm grateful that I am loved, even when I get cranky from pain or emotionally sensitive from the pain meds.

I'm grateful that I only slipped up 3 days of eating sugar in this candy filled season, so that my emotions didn't go completely berserk.

I'm grateful that 'you', my imaginary friend, have been here to watch my journey morph from fear into strength.

I'm grateful for 'you', my readers, because if you didn't show me you're here, I would have felt very empty this past year.

I'm grateful I worked hard at getting emotionally better.  It's sometimes difficult, but worth every effort.


4 comments:

  1. anonymous, being here makes you the awesome one in my eyes xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. You have that wondeful ability to be able to express things in words. Something I have spent a lifetime trying to do but not always successfully.
    Happy New Year

    Acorn

    ReplyDelete
  3. acorn, thank you so much. thank you for dropping by and lifting my spirits with your accolades xoxo

    ReplyDelete

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