oh. my. god. well actually, YOUR god.

I know I vent a lot about religious zealots, but here's one that I just need to get out.

So, there we were having the most BEAUTIFUL sights of nature that could ever be witnessed, at the top of the mountain in our area of Puerto Plata.

They call it the Tereferico, but basically it's a tram that takes you up to see the views of the ocean, the city and the local rolling hills of green.

So amazing.

We got accosted by the merchants at the top and got suckered into buying their wares.

It doesn't feel bad to give money for their wonderful goods, but damn they're aggressive!

At the end of our financial beatings, we were walking away and the nuts attacked us.

"Here!  You both get one of these!"  The man handed us 2 pamphlets that had a cover that read: 'How to get out of debt.'

This is a topic that is always interesting to me, as Papi and I are not too good at keeping the credit card put away. 

hence ... here we are in the beautiful caribbean thanx to mastercard

But when I looked a little closer it had all the markings of religious propaganda.

"No thank you," I passed the pamphlet back.

"Oh, you go ahead and take it.  You can read it later."

"No really!  We don't need it.  We don't follow religion."

"But you don't know when you'll need to call on god," he was getting pushy now.

I tried to explain in my 'spanglish' way that I don't believe in god and there's no point in me having the pamphlet, but this was when they begged me to keep it because ... 

oh get this ...

... because, "You don't know when later you will want to pray to god to change.  When you don't want to be gay, god will help you." 

WTF?!?!?!?!?

Seriously.

Who the fuck asked me if I WANTED to change?

Dearest religious mother fucking brain washed slime balls:

Please pray to your fucking 'god' for tolerance.

Please pray to your invisible leader in birkenstock shoes to ask what 'judgement' is and who is to be judging.

Please pray to your mother fucking, fear instilling, imaginary friend to learn what respect is.

Please learn that your mother fucking 'god' doesn't exist, because if he did, he wouldn't have fuckwads like you telling me that I should change so that your 'god' would love me.

I have all the fucking love in the world, and I don't need another imaginary friend.  The one I already have is fine thank you very much.

I have the joy in my life that most people would pay to have if they could.  Do you really think that I want to change that just to appease your imaginary friend?

CHANGE?!?!?!

Why the fuck would I want to change this life of joy and love and become a sad-ass loser like you. 

end vent.

So.

Papi and I went and took pictures of us holding jesus statues in our hands.

Yes.

We held jesus up. 

goddam ... i'm sure jesus would love your fucking love and tolerance you mother fuckers.

Other than that, hey, it was a beautiful day here in the Dominican.

Except for the power outages while we're trying to listen to the hockey play-offs.

Third world country indeed.

And what the fuck is a 2nd world country?  Do they have religious zealots there?