Monday, May 23, 2011

patience is learned

"Baby when I can't open lift my arms after the surgery will you ..."

"MM-MM!" I grunted negatively.  'No' in the form of a mumble.

i don't need the last words ... i know what Papi wants to say ... no i will not inject those hormones into your body ... the evil chemicals that stole my butch ...

 "But I'll need someone to do it."

Another negative grunt, "MM!"

"Ok, I guess I'll get the maid to do it."

I laughed and managed to enunciate a muffled, "K."

"Honey, I hate it when you won't talk about things."

if i don't speak it will go away ...

I finally spoke, "I'm still on holiday.  I'm not home yet."

Papi said, "But it's only a week away!"

"I don't care.  I'm still on holiday."

don't speak ...

"Sweety, you didn't give me the time line of when we could talk about it."

"Well, I'm giving you the 'rules' now.  These are the 'rules,' I don't want to talk about it until my holiday is over."

I am allowed to change the 'rules'.  These ARE the 'rules'.  Papi knows this by now.  'Rules' are subject to change at any time I choose.

I'm lucky that Papi is patient.  Papi's lucky that I'm patient as well.

Silly esposo tried reverse psychology, "I wouldn't want you to do it anyway, you're always soooo rough on me!  You're always hurting me!"

I laughed, "No, I'm not.  You're exaggerating."

There was a moment of silence before I heard it again, "Honey are you going to be gentle when you have to take care of me?"


"Yes," I said like a spoiled brat with a lip sticking out.

"You won't hurt me?"

you mean hurt you like this hurts?

This is getting to close.  Way too close.  I don't want to think about it.  I'm envisioning the pain.

for both of us ...

Papi will be alone for the last few days of the surgery aftercare.  I won't see the unveiling until my love comes home.

I was so comfortable just lying across my love.  Entangled bodies, head to chest, leg over back.  Relaxation at it's finest.

My love is the best cuddler ever.  I've never been with anyone where the energy of love exudes in a cuddle like this.

Why is it that when we're that comfortable, mi esposo thinks it's a good time to bring 'it' up?

close enough to jab the scab ...

We left the room laughing, though.  That's all that matters.

I'll talk when it's time.

I have to start soon.


Adjust them.


  1. Andrea I KNOW you'll be fine.

    And I expect that your love for Papi will overcome everything else when you're needed to be a nurse.

    Well apart from that - the fucking elephant.

  2. I think you deserve the holiday, and yes, you get to make the rules. Hang in there girl, you're doing fine...easy for me to say, but thank goodness your blogging your journey, writing is like letting go right...just smile and nod. :)

  3. @sandra, it's true. my rules :)

    @psycho, double :) and triple <3


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