Whispers ...

Ah the nightmares I have.  Really!

So last night Papi wasn't a minotaur, my love was just dying.

But here's the best part: my love wanted to be single for the last year of living.

yeah ... because dying, shriveling people are soooooo sexy

Anyway, it's so strange, because I really feel like we're having a wonderful time, to the point where this really does feel like a 2nd honeymoon.

Our actual, the 1st, was ridiculous.  Papi was obviously manic, because we were up every fucking morning at 7 to go on excursions.

It's a little better this time around.  We get some days where we'll actually sleep in and miss breakfast.  That's when it feels like we're on holiday.

But honestly, everything we've seen here is amazing.

Today we went to a wonderful place called the Monkey Jungle.  100% of the profits goes to help Haitian villages and to saving abused Squirrel Monkeys.  Also, when Haitian people need medical care, they can simply go to these people and have the care for free.

All I can say is, this kind of philanthropy is what I would love to be doing when we move here.

my mind ... revving thinking of how i can be of service to these people ...

No bubbling skin today.  The clouds gave me a bit of a break, but even still, it's so warm.

We leave in 4 days, this paradise will be behind us and I go back to reality.

Papi has been female here and it really has been a nice break, but sometimes it feels weird, because I was just getting my head wrapped around the male transformation.

A young girl on our monkey tour asked me, "Is that your sister, or your friend?"

I answered, "We're married."  She looked so very confused.

What I didn't know was that Papi had been asked the same question 4 times by others on this tour.

This wouldn't be happening if my love had no breasts.

This is where I find myself wondering if I'm more on page with mi esposo than I really give myself credit for.

am i?

I see my love in the eyes that Papi sees occasionally.  I'm getting more used to seeing this.

It's not like the horrifying views I get of myself in the mirror.

the mirror always lies ... gobs of fat oozing over my pants ...

I get more peaceful sights of my love.

I will look at my love and say, "Mi guapo esposo."  My love asked me what it means.  When I told Papi it means 'you're my handsome husband', my love looked proud.

I do see my love as handsome.  I always have.  My handsome, masculine woman.

But this thought doesn't seem right anymore.

It just seems like a confusing ideal.  Papi is not a woman.  Papi has the best of both worlds, making my love a Third Gender.

This is a gender that the majority of the world can't accept.  They only want to see one or the other.

I really believe, that if the world could see this 3rd gender, then my love wouldn't feel the need to be seen as one or the other.  My love would accept the beautiful person that 'is'.

I wish we lived in this world now.  Then maybe Papi wouldn't feel the pressure to cut out pieces of that body I love so much.

The Countdown.

It definitely didn't get left behind in Vancouver.  It's a lot more of a whisper while we're here, while my love and I just get to enjoy each others company with laughs and silliness of chickens crossing the road and 4 people to a scooter.

Perhaps I can keep it to a dull roar when we return?

Stranger things have happened.