Thursday, May 26, 2011

A story of suckers.


So I feel like crap.

It's very possible that I have once again contacted a parasite.


Every time I go to a warm place I'm going to come back with critters in my body?!?!

I mean really!  I wanted to meet new friends here, but the body suckers?  No.

These new inhabitants feel a bit like the people who come up to us and say, "Hey!  You know me!  I'm the bartender at your resort!"

Being that Papi and I both your typical friendly, polite Canadians, we wouldn't want to offend the person by saying, "No, I don't think so."  I mean, what if they ARE and we just came off looking like snobs?

Then we'd have to see them again at the resort and feel embarrassed.

So we smile and nod, then they go on to say something like, "It's my birthday today!"  Or, how about, "It's Mother's Day on Sunday and I just happen to be going shopping at the same time as you!"

We try to avoid them, but one sucked me in with, "You have to see the heritage homes around the corner!"

Granted, he really did take us on a nice foot tour of the gorgeous homes they're restoring.  I got some amazing pictures of homes that look like they're from New Orleans.

I didn't know that Papi was terrified the whole time, because I was too busy with, 'ooh' and 'wow' and snapping pictures with everyone staring at the crazy gringo who was being led around by the local sheister.

we were the only ones in on the joke

While I was happily clicking away, Papi was panicking that there was a thief ring going on.  One guy leads us around for 'x' amount of time, while the dude back at the car who said, "No worry, I watch you car!" is possibly rummaging through our knapsack.

It turned out everything was fine, and we gave the guy some cash after he begged for his family.

we were going to anyhow, but not 500 pesos!!!  the guilt trip he gave us!!!!

Well, when today came around and we went shopping ...

had to get the black walnut herbs to knock out this fucking parasite in my gut!!! vamos enemigos!

... there was the same scam.

"Hey you know me!  I'm the security guard at your hotel!"

Again, we were nice, but not so nice after he stalked us all through the store.  Every turn we took, Mr. 'I have to buy for mi Madre' was there, acting like he just bumped into us again.

He wanted us to go visit his fruit stand and told us exuberantly about the 'free market' that's going on.  We did our best not to look too rude, but just kept looking at our 'shopping list' on our phone and kept speaking about which direction we should go.

It helped to speak English really fast.  Fast enough that he couldn't understand us.  However, he'd pop up again and again, telling us which direction in the store to go to.

dude!  in canada we have stores too.

After we were finished shopping, he was there waiting for us outside.  He said, "Ok!  So you're done?  Now I'll show you the street festival and you can visit my fruit stand!"  He then told us which way to to turn when we got out of the supermarket.

Our new friend ran ahead of us to the top of the hill, waving us his way.

We looked at him and waved.


Well, we went the other direction.

He'd obviously never dealt with a married couple, where one was more infested with bugs than the dogs on the street here, and the other had forgotten to take a happy pill for the last few days.

No more Nice Canadian!  Well, for him anyway.


  1. You have stores in Canada? I thought you just hunted walrus and traded furs with each other from the back of your dog sleds!

    Just Kidding! Anonymous comment from Rafa at the Rudeblog. Blogger sucks, but this is really me. C-ya!

  2. hey you're here again! hooray! i still have to get into my blog from the back door jeeeeeeeezus

  3. Well ... adds spices to life doesn't it?
    Are you okay now?
    Stay safe A. ♥

  4. i'm feeling so much better sweety :) black walnut and a parasite cleanse.

    doing a food cleanse(ish) starting tomorrow too. starve those little bastards out!!



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