Thursday, June 21, 2012

bum dye

Today, I go for a bone scan.


I actually didn't know about this before.

They put green, nuclear dye into my bones and see where it lights up like the 4th of July.



Then, they'll be able to tell where it is they need to treat.

Since the motorcycle accident, I've been envious of people who have operable back conditions.

They get their surgery, and bingo!  They're better.


I literally work my ass off and I still have a mother fucking bitch of a back.

However, there may be something to help me!!!

I've waited a year to get in to see this doc, and within a week she's got me thinking there's a possibility to have less pain.

But here's the part that's really funny.

To treat it, when they figure out where the inflammation is, they give it a shot.

With Botox.

That's so goddam funny, I can't even tell you.

So, they'll be shooting Botox into my right ass cheek every few months, if it works.

That means one of my ass cheeks will be more youthful than the other.

I'm going to have to work extra hard to perk up the other one.

I guess I'll have to do one legged squats.

Anyway, the only part that scares me is getting my hopes up.

We all know what getting our hopes up means.

We could be in for a let down.

Kinda like the birthday party that never happened.

See, if I just called it a 'dinner plan' with my best buddies, then I wouldn't have been so disappointed, and I would have been overjoyed that my pals showed up.

That right there is why I haven't openly celebrated that day in 15 years.

No expectations, no let down, and the day just goes by without anybody knowing about it.

It's just so damn hard to not have hope sometimes.

It really goes against the whole theory of thinking positively.

How the hell can I think positively, yet not have hope or possible expectations?

I just don't know how the fuck that works.


Anyway, I'm looking forward to the possibility of less pain and I don't give a shit.

I know I can live with pain, so even if it doesn't work, I'm good.  Even if I do get let down.

However, life would be oh so beautiful without pain or the use of pain meds.


I forgot.

I wanted to share something completely off topic with you.

Mi esposo es muy guapo!

Chico caliente!!!!

... swoons ...

i accept and love my body as it is, and i work to make it better


  1. Happy belated birthday! I so look forward to reading your posts every time I stop by here. I would have been really upset if I had invited all those people and most of them bailed. The $350 worth of food and booze would have really pissed me off. I have never celebrated my birthday with a bunch of friends around. The only time that ever happened was a surprise party for my 40th that I was not aware of. My husband and I have birthdays a day a part. Last year was my 50th. We took off up to Whistler and celebrated by treating ourselves. I have learned to have very low expectations from others. That way I am not disappointed and let down. All you need is Papi. As I often tell my husband "it's you and me against the world". If you have a few people in your life that you can count on you are doing well. A big virtual hug to you.

    1. thank you for the belated wishes :) and thank you for always coming back. you're the reason i keep going.

      isn't it lovely to have that partner in life that helps you get through it all?

      we're so fortunate.

  2. be careful with the whole GUN thing! You guys might start becomin more 'Mericanized! YEE haw!!


    The thing about hope, is that it's just as empty as fear. They're both based on fantasy. Just live right now and kick right now in the ass!!

    1. thanx for your words of wisdom :) you have a great great point. it's about today. i'm still learning this. thanx for the reminder.

      as for the guns, I LOVE THEM!!!! am i a redneck?

      or an honourary 'merican?!? can you see my fist pump?!?

  3. Don't do it Andrea they will find out you're an Alien Lol :)
    The botox thing does work if they inject in the right place, you will see a difference.

    1. i've never heard of it and it's pretty funny.

      i didn't know that botox came from using it on migraines and women started looking younger lmao!!!

  4. Ya $200 a year for a gun license in the Dr we ain't gonna have guns!!! Better probably knowing our mental unstableness :-> The
    Machete is the weapon of choice anyways. Love you my crazy wife!!!!

    1. that machete won't work for me. can you imagine this back trying to swing that bitch?!?!?

      i guess i'll just have to go to the shooting range for the fun lol!


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