Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Time to get a gun.

That's what I'm thinking.

Interesting that this Miranda Lambert song was the song I sang the most yesterday.

Some songs are made for the day better than others, however, I didn't know why I played this one over and over, other than the fact that I love it.

You see, Papi had a birthday surprise for me.

He told me to be ready by 3 and not to eat a big lunch.

How could I not eat a big lunch?

I have $350 worth of food to eat before it goes bad.

Including a wheat free, dairy free birthday cake, filled with sugar to throw my chemical imbalance into a tizzy.

Fuck it.  I ate it.

I ate the whole fucking thing.

That's right.

That's what you all get for missing my birthday:  Hurricane Andréa, complete with zits from head to tits.

What fucking ever, I don't fucking care, and I finished that bitch off last night.

Today I'll be starting on the salmon and shrimp.

Anyway, back to my wonderful surprise.

For starters, we went out to a wheat free, dairy free restaurant and I had a Reuben Sandwich.  It was good times having sauerkraut hanging from my braces.  It made for good Brace Face.

When I was finished brushing my teeth after an hour of hogging the only bathroom in the joint, he got out the GPS and we headed out of town.  As we drove closer to bum-fuck-nowhere, I got more and more curious about where the hell we were going.

Oh, but when we got to the door, I can't tell you how ecstatic I was!!!

A fucking shooting range bitches!!!!!!

I blasted those mother fucking bullets into the pretend person's head and chest. 

I didn't really have anyone in mind for a kill list, so you can all rest easy.

Goddamit, I can't tell you how fucking good it felt with every kick back that little canon gave me.


Take that mother fuckers!!  And that!!  And that!!

I've always wanted a gun and nobody will allow me to have one.

... can't imagine WHY?!?!? hehehe ...

I do have to say, it was probably the best birthday present/surprise ever.

It felt so good.  It felt just like I've always expected it to feel, but it was over too soon.

At the end, when my heart was pulsing with adrenaline, this is what I looked like:

Do you see that look in my eyes?!?!

Oh, how I enjoyed it.  Maybe just a little too much?

It's interesting that the song I played on repeat over and over all day was foreshadowing my day.


Time to get a gun.

life is a joy filled with delightful surprises


  1. Love it,the way you were singing that song before getting your birthday surprise is perfect. Your life is so like a book. :)

    I don't blame you for eating the cake, i would do that ♥ i love cakes

    1. oh the cake alex. it was almost too much for me to handle.


      but i won.

      ate the bitch.

      with zeal. xoxo

  2. I love your sugar fueled posts they make me laugh so much :D
    My daughter is training on a mini gun this week she said its awesome, she got her marksman badge last month I'm so jealous.x

    1. you were my #3,000 comment kiki! not that you win a prize or anything, but you're special.

      and i'll begin washing the sugar out of my system now and look forward for a little more happy while i do it.

      i'll go shooting with your girl ANYTIME!!

  3. I can't believe you finished the cake and then ate a Reuben. :)

    Sweetie and I went to a gun range about two years ago. First time for either of us. It's ironic, really. Two people who grew up in the US first shot a gun while in Canada! I liked the 9mm. Sweetie preferred the .38 Special. I don't want a gun, but it was definitely a lot of fun to shoot one!

    Yep, that look on your face is kinda scary. :)

    1. véronique, i can most definitely eat more than people would ever think hehe. however, i'm feeling a wee bit bloated lmao!!

      i want a gun. and the 9mm is the one i like the best so far. i want to try a rifle next. the shotgun was too much for this little body to handle, but a little femme rifle would please me :)

      and yeah ... that look on my face ... it says it all.

  4. LOL Andrea! It's time!!!!!! And don't leave home without it! ;)

    1. here in canada, it's best we leave the gun at home lol! but when we get to the DR ... that's another story :)


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