Interesting that this Miranda Lambert song was the song I sang the most yesterday.
Some songs are made for the day better than others, however, I didn't know why I played this one over and over, other than the fact that I love it.
You see, Papi had a birthday surprise for me.
He told me to be ready by 3 and not to eat a big lunch.
How could I not eat a big lunch?
I have $350 worth of food to eat before it goes bad.
Including a wheat free, dairy free birthday cake, filled with sugar to throw my chemical imbalance into a tizzy.
Fuck it. I ate it.
I ate the whole fucking thing.
That's what you all get for missing my birthday: Hurricane Andréa, complete with zits from head to tits.
What fucking ever, I don't fucking care, and I finished that bitch off last night.
Today I'll be starting on the salmon and shrimp.
Anyway, back to my wonderful surprise.
For starters, we went out to a wheat free, dairy free restaurant and I had a Reuben Sandwich. It was good times having sauerkraut hanging from my braces. It made for good Brace Face.
When I was finished brushing my teeth after an hour of hogging the only bathroom in the joint, he got out the GPS and we headed out of town. As we drove closer to bum-fuck-nowhere, I got more and more curious about where the hell we were going.
Oh, but when we got to the door, I can't tell you how ecstatic I was!!!
A fucking shooting range bitches!!!!!!
I blasted those mother fucking bullets into the pretend person's head and chest.
I didn't really have anyone in mind for a kill list, so you can all rest easy.
Goddamit, I can't tell you how fucking good it felt with every kick back that little canon gave me.
BANG!! BANG!! BANG!!
Take that mother fuckers!! And that!! And that!!
I've always wanted a gun and nobody will allow me to have one.
... can't imagine WHY?!?!? hehehe ...
I do have to say, it was probably the best birthday present/surprise ever.
It felt so good. It felt just like I've always expected it to feel, but it was over too soon.
At the end, when my heart was pulsing with adrenaline, this is what I looked like:
Do you see that look in my eyes?!?!
Oh, how I enjoyed it. Maybe just a little too much?
It's interesting that the song I played on repeat over and over all day was foreshadowing my day.
Time to get a gun.
life is a joy filled with delightful surprises