Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Pronoun Hell. It awaits me.

Well, I can't deny it anymore.

More and more strangers out there are starting to see my love as a male being.

I don't know when the big switcheroo came, because like I've said before, I'm much too close to Papi to see drastic changes.  The changes all come too slow in this male transformation.

Well, except for The Great Breast Disappearance in Florida

That was a bit too fast for my liking.

Anyway, this story is set when mi esposo went to visit someone in the psych ward.

Now, before you start thinking those thoughts about people in psych wards, I do want to tell you, that you never know who's been there.

It's not all drooling lunatics on anti-psychotic meds.

Sometimes, it's people who just can't swallow the meals life is putting on their plates.  There are a lot of people suffering in this life, and some get to a breaking point where their mind wants to quit.

I know what it's like.

I should have been in the psych ward a few times from various break downs I've had from life's peddlings.

You never know if the sweet person you work with, who has that heart that everyone wants to warm up to, has been there.

We are all sensitive people and some of us reach meltdown faster than others.


So now that I've gotten my mental health advocacy out of the way, I'll get back to my love's story.

Actually, the story happens after Papi left the ward.

The woman that my love had gone to visit told Papi that she had a thing for one of the other clients there.

After my love left, this woman wanted to talk to the hunk of burnin' love about perhaps a phone number exchange and a date outside of the ward.

The man was horrified!

He thought that this woman's boyfriend had just left and already she's going on about dating someone else.

This guy thought Papi was her boyfriend.

Her boyfriend!!



I dunno.

I just don't see it.  But will I ever?  Or will I continue to see my love as my love?  Or will I eventually see him as a male?

Here's a funny one for ya.

So, there I was spending so much time, trying desperately to get the pronouns down and guess what's happened?

To me now, everyone has the male pronoun.

I'm not kidding.

I now slip up with women and call them he, him, his or whatever male pronoun seems to fit the sentence.

How fucked up is that?!?!

My pendulum has swung to the other side and you're all male.

Every last one of ya.

This is a bit ridiculous, but hey, I've got it down now, don't I?

i have compassion for myself and the way my life has developed


  1. Before anyone can log in to see your blog... they must agree to one statement : "I understand and I wish to continue" - kinda sage and fitting don't change think?

    1. hahaha!!! indeed. very fitting. i always wonder what people think when they're comin' on in for the first time to read about my personal mind hehehe ...

  2. I remember you saying that you wished there were pronouns that were not based on male and female. I guess you just did that with the pronoun that makes your life easier for the future.

    1. i suppose so jamie! you won't mind being called a 'he', but damn! what about my m-f friends?!? goddamit.

    2. Yikes, I never thought of that! Yeah, they might be offended.

    3. yeah ... i just gotta think more to get it lol!

  3. I Don't know how you manage to stay out of the psych ward, you must be very much stronger than you give your self credit for,or just knowing you're round the hat rack makes it easier to stay out of the psych wards, I think to survive this world and all the shit it throws at you, you just have to be somewhat bonkers :D x

    1. i don't know either kiki. i don't know why nobody committed me when i was younger and couldn't handle my emotions!!

      anyway, what doesn't kill us, definitely makes us stronger.

  4. first of all thanks for being a mental health advocate ♥

    people change how they think according to their experiences and maybe that is happening to you, as you are experiencing all these new feelings and situations regarding what Papi and you go through. i am not good at expressing myself as you are but i can see your changes here and see they are good ♥

    i have learned a lot about life here through your explorations of your own life... hope i made a little bit of sense, haha

    1. alex, you and i are two peas in a pod :) i adore you and i hope to see your journey progress along the way!

      don't ever leave me! i need to see your happy ending!!!

      love you doll

      a xo

  5. Papi looks totally male in the most recent photo you posted of him, no mistaking it!

    1. yup! to you he does! to me, he's just my love. with a few missing body parts hehe


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