Speaking of asses ...

Today I let some stranger get down into my meaty cheeks.

I'm a little uncomfortable with that, considering we have a friend ...

... and i'm sure some of you out there do as well ...

... who has been sexually assaulted by their massage therapist.

However, he does a method called myofascial release.

I'll try anything!

But I'm still a little uncomfortable with some dude gettin' down in there.

Ok, I'm a lot uncomfortable with it, but I'm desperate.

It reminds me of the hospital visit for my motorcycle accident, where I had an even more invasive treatment.

They rolled me on my side, then the younger than me doctor approached me and said, "I will need to place my finger in your anus to check your spine."

He hadn't yet experienced all the joking I was doing, and was a little shocked when I responded, "God, don't tell my girlfriend, she'll be jealous!!"

He didn't laugh, but the rest of the nurses did.

A lot of time, I use humour to defuse my fears.

It's a great system that I learned from one of my greatest counsellors I had.  She was around for a good 10 years of my lessons in life.

I had to let her go after that accident, for legal reasons, but she taught me more than anyone to date.

Like dealing with life's challenges with humour.

If you can't laugh, you're not doing it right.

I'm not saying it's easy to laugh while we're hurting, but damn, when the hurt is done, if you can't laugh at yourself, life is only going to beat you down over and over, and you'll get deeper and deeper into that dark place that holds you by your every cell.

I truly believe that the only thing that is important in this life is happiness.

I've been to third world countries, and seen that those with the least of anybody on this planet know how to find happiness.

We, in our first world lives, really need to learn from this.

I need to learn from this.

Happiness.  It has been my only mission in life since I first started having struggles with my chemical imbalance.

I knew that living with such deep sadness and pain wasn't the way to live, even at the young age of 11.

From that point forward, life has handed me lesson after lesson to practise my happiness with.

I'm still learning, but something I do have to say is, I'm getting out of the sad so much faster now.

What I experience now is healthy, situational sadness.

We have to allow those moments to be felt, because they are true to our feelings.  Yet when it swirls around and brings us further and further into the Pit of Doom, that's a problem, and we are under obligation to work on that.

Life is not, and will never be, fair.  It's how we deal with it that gives us our good life.

Like I've always said, we are responsible for our own happiness.  It's up to me to do what I can to turn around my thinking.

Like today.

The fear of having some stranger gettin' all up into my butt really scares me, but it's possible that he could help me.

I am willing to try.

I am willing to trust that he's a good person.

Fucker better not break that trust or there will be more than just another Hurricane Andréa sighting.

Goddammit!  My ass gets a lot of action!

i fill my mind with positive and nourishing thoughts