Tuesday, July 12, 2011

All I need ...

Well, it looks like I may have passed on the flu to Papi.

I was wondering why there was a sleep session going on for 15 hours beside me.  Of course I wasn't sleeping, because I was too busy trying to swallow saliva between coughs.

the razors in my throat!!!!!

My love just called in sick.

I just wanted my love to take care of me, but that's not going to happen.  Perhaps Papi is getting me back for when I was supposed to be that caretaker, but didn't live up to my love's standards?

Perhaps.

Karma.

I seem to receive my karma pretty fast, which is good.  You don't want it lurking, waiting to pounce, or you will get startled.

No, I will not be pampered, but I do think I have everything I need beside me:

     ~ an aging fruit smoothie that just doesn't look as appetizing as when it was first made
     ~ left over ginger tea from the day before that buurrrns as it goes down for the masochist in me
     ~ water that really doesn't taste good when you're sick, but we're told to drink it
     ~ Vitamin C tabs that are seriously not going to work once the flu has set in
     ~ a thermometer to check my temperature, in the off chance that I just may be dying and need to go to the hospital
     ~ sugary not-in-the-food-plan-at-all Halls cough drops with syrup centre that will give me zits
     ~ sugary not-in-the-food-plan-at-all throat numbing spray that now doesn't spray, because the sugar has congealed, so it just rolls down my fingers and out the side of my mouth that will contribute to the zit-fest that I now have to look forward to
     ~ kleenex for rubbing my nose so raw I will look like Rudolph by tomorrow
     ~ rice crackers and almond butter for when I just can't take the hunger anymore
     ~ both my cell phone and the land line in case I need to call someone to whine, because Papi has already heard it all
     ~ my oh-so-easy crossword puzzle that makes me feel smart because I can finish them without cheating
     ~ the book I'm reading, from The Magaic of Xanth about dragons and magic that proves my membership in the nerd club
     ~ the entire Fuzzy Family on the bed to make sure I starfish when I'm lying down flat
     ~ earplugs to drown out the snore of Sir Bark-A-Lot
     ~ and of course, Papi.

However, I'm now being told I need to gargle with salt water again.  Am I the only one that gags when I do this?

Seriously!

I try so hard to gargle and I just about puke every time.  I have very sensitive gag reflexes.  I gag when I brush my teeth for fucks sakes, so gargling is not my thing.

The suckiest part of all this, is I've used up all my sick days from my back being a bitch, so now I'm not being paid.  It brings back memories of when I was self employed; no paid sick days period!

The upside to all of this, is I'm behind on my Jon Stewart.  I have about 9 episodes of Jon and his trusty side-kick Stephen Colbert to watch.

This pleases me.

There's nothing like Jon to put a smile on my face.  I get to giggle at right wingers and Tea Party folks who never took the time to learn how to spell in high school, because they were too busy being told what to think.

that and sleeping with their cousins

Anyway, I'm glad I at least got to say hi.

I'm now going to go enjoy Jon, watch Papi giggle at silly Facebook posts, tell Sir Bark-A-Lot to please not bark today, as it may push my head over the limit, causing it to implode, and try to drink liquid without crying.

Today, I will allow The Bastard Prince to do whatever the fuck he wants.

go to town shithead!

I'm not getting up to chase him with water spray bottles today.

but wait what is this?!?!  papi to the rescue ...

Apparently, The Bastard Prince was eating butter.

10 comments:

  1. Ugh, that sounds just miserable.

    I'm 34 and I still revert to being 8 years old when I'm sick. I cry, I whine and I want my mommy.

    I'm gonna be FUCKED if I ever have kids and have to actually BE the helpful mommy.

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  2. heh ... yeah ... we're too selfish to have kids, so i think that's it's good that i couldn't get preggers lol!

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  3. Andrea - you need some zinc tablets. They are wonderful for a sore throat!

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  4. zinc!!! i forgot about zinc!! i have it in the cupboard :)

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  5. Ok, now that I know of this Bastard Prince, I am laughing. My cat eats the butter too...oh, and bacon grease, she loves the stuff! Probably why she hangs around the bathroom when I'm in it, she's all, "Hurry up and open the cupboard where you keep the bacon fat!" Yes, we're classy that way, we scoop the fat into a cup, and there it stays, basically forever...as for your health issues, get yourself checked out for strept throat. My daughter had it, and I'm pretty sure I have it.

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  6. Get well sweetie. Being sick sucks. It squeezes out the happy life juices fast.

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  7. Zinc! I also forgot about zinc! My mommy has been feeding me with Chinese herbs for 3 days!!

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  8. @sandra, i will get checked, my fever is on day 3 yikes! and as for The Bastard Prince, i don't know why i love him so much. And the bacon fat? it's the best thing for cooking! we did it all the time before i wound up with food allergies :)

    @psycho, it's definitely gotten rid of my smile

    @lion, i though i had zinc in the cupboard. i don't :(

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  9. Fresh orange juice.

    That's my top tip for colds and flu. You just need to strength to squeeze the oranges.
    Feel better soon. xxx

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  10. there won't be any squeezing lol! lifting a glass is still tiring

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