So, before I was stressed when my love would bare those luscious mams in public, but now there's new trouble in my bubble.
Papi, asked me, "I know you were really uncomfortable with me having my breasts hanging out all over the place, but will you be upset if I show my chest with the scars at Pride?"
My love also added in, "It's a good thing I have your blog to read to find out more about you. I can't believe you never told me it makes you uncomfortable!!!"
I answered the comment, not the question, "I never told you, because it shouldn't be my choice as to what you want to do. If you want to let 'em all hang out, it's what you want to do. If I'm uncomfortable, it's my own issue."
I actually couldn't answer the question mi esposo had asked. I just carried on with the tippity tappity of Facebook comments to keep me occupied, hoping I didn't have to say how I'm feeling out loud.
My love was getting a bit frustrated that I wouldn't answer the question. I would just continue to give a look of 'OMG! Please don't make me answer.'
I'm obviously way too stressed out about the question, and I have to look at that. What the hell is wrong with me that I'm so uncomfortable both ways?!
I finally answered after Papi prodded me enough times, "You were uncomfortable with breasts, but now you're uncomfortable with my scars?!?!"
All right. So I guess I better speak the truth of what's in my head swirling around to the point of make me stagger, "Well, it's just that breasts are natural and with the scars, you will freak people out."
there i go again, giving a shit about what other people think ...
Papi, in all my love's glory answered, "But, that's kinda why I like to do it."
oh my love, it's not only me you like to taunt
Papi quickly added in, "But the nips will look better in a month. Look! They already do!"
Oh, yes, I was looking.
How could I not be?
My love was proudly parading The Great Breast Disappearance.
I'm sure I'll get used to it. I'm positive I will. But right now, all I see is something missing.
I'm not sure when the shift will take place, but I know it will happen.
I know because when I look at my love's chest, I don't feel anxious anymore.
I've become a little more curious to watch the healing. Those nipples aren't looking as angry as they were before, and I'm actually feeling more analytical about them.
It's a start.
It's not romantic or tender on my part, but at least I'm interested in seeing what they will look like.
It's almost like waiting for a snake shed it's skin.
The other thing that is making me more relaxed about The Great Breast Disappearance, is that the scars are now looking all pink and rested.
It's time to add the scar diminishing serum.
I'll be amazed if it really does take away most of the scarring.
Maybe that's when I'll find a shift in my mindset.
Wait, what's that?!?!
Is the other eye trying to open?
i like my bubble