Tuesday, July 19, 2011

warning: rant.

Every morning, I look like a shaman blessing the air with a tea towel.

Do you have one of those fire alarms that goes off when you make toast?

If you do, then you know what I'm talking about.  While my 2 eggs cook in my miniature iron pan, I wander around waving a blue and white terry cloth.

sans caffeine for 2 weeks **sobs** ... i'm on a food cleanse ... ouch

All I know is, if there is the remote fear of a fire, we're good.  However, that doesn't count emotional ones.

You know, since Papi and I have both been blessed with the Brace Face, there's not too much heavy kissing going on.  I guess that's why I dreamed that Papi and I are making out the same way we did before the bomb was dropped and I cried sitting in a La-Z-Boy for 6 weeks.

Then when the braces came, well yeah, the kisses are little pecks most of the time.

It was nice to wake up to a dream about nookie with Papi.

One of the last things my love said to me last night before I dozed off into my sexy time coma was, "Honey, can you please not roll your eyes every time I talk about someone who's become an F-M?"

I knew this was going to be conveyed, because while the Americans were invading our house, there was another outing of another F-M, and I, in all my opinionated glory, rolled my eyes.

I know that most people who go through the male transformation really are transgendered, however I fear for the young bucks who feel like they'd fit in better if they joined the crowd.

I have spoken about this before, but I really do think that when you're 18/19/20, you just don't have the life experience to figure out who you are.

And is there something so wrong with being a minority within a minority?


Butches are beautiful.

Butches are special.

Butches are becoming an endangered species.

I just need to know that there will be some butches left for the femmes who adore them.

So yeah, when I hear of another butch being pricked by the needle with poison, going through modern day mutilation, and asking the world to change their personal pronoun ...

... leaving all of us stuttering while trying our best not to insult ...

... I roll my eyes.

another one bites the dust.

Yet, I am hurting my love's feelings when I show my disdain.  So it will now have to be curbed and kept for my inside voice, until I am with the femmes on my Trust List who are also feeling the pinch of our butches leaving us.

One of my Blogger Friends, Tricia, made a great point.  That when breasts are removed, so is the tact.

Yesterday, Papi called that 'murdering tot mom' ...

... no need to put a name here ... we all know who i'm talking about ...

... a slut.

My Trust List Yank and I looked at each other a little shocked, and from out of the Yank's mouth came, "You sound a bit slut-phobic."

There was laughter, but it just sounded odd coming from Papi who back-stepped saying, "I'm not, I really don't care, I'm just saying ..."

It's interesting, because it seemed like Papi no longer was allowed to call a woman a name, because mi esposo has denounced all ties to femininity.

Sorry my love.

You will be getting flack for speaking like a guy now.


  1. Your blog fascinates me.

    When I think about how much drama the average relationship stirs up, I can't fathom how the two of you make it work. He's so lucky to have someone as loving and supportive as you are.

  2. you know tricia, i don't think we know either ... it is just the way love goes :)

  3. I don't know A, at 20 I'm pretty secure about who I am. But then maybe that will change when I get older. After all, it's not age that changes people, but experiences. LOL@ Papi, I get flack all the time:P Apparently I'm supposed to be more sensitive. WTF ever. What kind of stereotyping shit is that?

  4. jamie, as your **ahem** elder i can promise you time will change you ... and you know ... the 'guy' sensitivity thing ... we have to have SOME way to keep you bio-males in check ;)

  5. That made me laugh - you can't have your cake and eat it.

    Good old stereotypes eh ?

  6. I don't think sluts are bad tho. I guess it was easier to just say that then go into all the details. I will watch my words now...I didn't think of how it came accross...

    @Trici: We have the least amount of Drama in our relationship that I have ever had. It scares me sometimes the lack of Drama! Lol :->

  7. As a butch-ish chick, I can say I definately identify as female. :) Downside, I am not super into femmes. Sorry!

  8. I'm going to have to throw you a just "BUTCH" party so you can see there are still LOTS of them around :>

  9. i was at work when i sent a comment, and i'm not sure that it went through, so if it did, and if i'm repeating myself, feel free to not post this!
    i've known since i was 5 that things weren't as they seemed with me. i asked my grand dad how i could become a boy, and he told me i just needed to kiss my elbow in the light of a full moon. ever try to kiss your elbow? can't.
    anyway, that was 32 years ago, and i wish to god i had started my transition earlier than i did, even though i had great experiences. i think what we need is more fluidity, and more open mindedness around said fluidity. people can change their minds, they do it all the time. as for butches becoming fewer and further between, i don't think it'll ever happen. i know far too many butch women to think that will EVER happen! the prairie is full of 'em, what we're missing here is an equal amount of femmes.
    as for myself, well, i know i was NEVER a butch! not then, and certainly not now!
    and i love you, A. so much.

  10. @dirty ... yeah ... good ol' stereotypes

    @papi ... you see, i know that you love sluts. so that's all good ... but the rest of the world doesn't ... mind you, now they do ... and as for our lack of drama, yes it is freaky, and as for the butch party, YES PLEASE!!!

    @bio ... you don't have to be into us femmes for us to appreciate you :)

    @oc ... i do remember you saying something to me about that ... but not a repeat here :) i completely understand about your transgenderism ... i really am working through my own 'issues' i think ... b/c i do know that you weren't a full on butch ... and oh the butches in manitoba ... i can only imagine ... love you back! xo

  11. Can I come to the butch party ?
    I know I'm straight but if I don't wax it I have got a moustache and there is one fucker of a black hair under my chin that I suspect is the beginning of an old lady beard.

  12. lmao dirty!!!! feel free to join us :)

  13. Butch party? WHERE?! I'm in!!! *drool*


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