Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Can I get a witness?


How does this make you feel?

I'm sure you know I'll tell you how I feel.

There are penes everywhere.

It's almost become comical!

I was about to start my evening brace face brush and floss and I found another one.

It's a little bit like Easter around here, only the eggs to find are not edible chocolatey goodies of delight.

I like my coconut chocolate balls better than the ones I'm finding strewn around our home.


Oh dear, I got going on a rant about chocolate balls when really I was meaning to talk to you about the next place I found a penis.

Right.

Back on track.

So, I was about to do my evening routine and here's what I found:


If you can't figure out which item does not belong here, then I'm sorry but I can't help you.

Yes.

A penis in my pampering shelf.

I also never really got to show you what the penis looked like that I found the other day.

Here's what I thought would go in the wash:


And here's what I found when I picked it up and realized that there was something squishy inside:


Yes, there was a surprise inside.

I've now been told by Papi that if I see a clump of towel lying around that it's best I don't pick it up.

Oh, my love, this kinda negates your argument about the lack of cleaning skills I have.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share.

I needed a witness to my mayhem of penes in the house.

If I don't go crazy first, it just may be what I need.

Maybe I need to see them everywhere so that I can be ninja girl and realize that they're not going to jump out and attack me.

I will be poised for every surprise penis I find!

Actually, she look a bit like she is holding her taco.

Oh, and by the way?

The World's Loudest Snorer has slept in the bed every night since she's been here.  We worked it out.

She gets to do what she wants and we just accept it.

It's too hard to hear her whimper and cry to be let on the bed.

Good news is though, I'm so fucking tired that I slept through her trying to push me off the bed last night.

I just woke up with a corner, and that was ok by me.

12 comments:

  1. I don't know what I'd do if I started finding penis' all over the damn place in the house. I don't know if I'd laugh or cry...

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  2. kim, i'm starting to laugh now :)

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  3. Wow.. I think I'd be pretty happy with finding them all over the house? No? Just me then..

    I'm glad you slept better though :P My dog is sleeping on my bed too - although it's a bit different. A double bed with myself and a Jack Russell Cross.. Yeah ok... Completely different I suppose :P

    I don't like hear him whimpering either. Gets on my nerves and makes me feel guilty. Even if I've done nothing wrong lol..

    Sorry - this has gone on a bit. But I'm sure you've enjoyed my drizzling on. This is what deprivation of sleep does to me.. Clearly lol

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  4. Ugh! Penises are so ugly! But yeah, have enough of them lying around the house and you'll become desensitised sooner or later. In the meantime, I'd be sooooo tempted to stick pins in one of them!! That, or give one a Prince Albert. :D

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  5. @WW, doesn't matter how much room you have, they'll take every last bit. so you're probably just as squished lol!

    @vee, i think perhaps they may fall to the ground for that Bastard Prince to play with hehehehe ... but the pins idea? yeah ... i like that too :)

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  6. @Vee, agreed. They aren't pleasant to look at. I think they are quite ugly...pins huh?

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  7. This is freakin' funny A. I am inspired now to throw a "Bring A Penis With You" party! hahahaha

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  8. @K, i'm collecting my pins now

    @PB, that would be such a fun party lmao!

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  9. LOL Wave kinda stole my comment.

    Along the lines of I should be so lucky.

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  10. @dirty, we have plenty to spare.

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  11. A penis in my pampering shelf.

    LOL, I know what I'm adding to mine:P

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  12. lmfao jamie!!!!!!

    this house would be perfect for you :)

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