Friday, September 2, 2011

Stale Mate.

i thought i'd let you know that a blog has allowed me a guest blog on their site.  I hope you can make it over to check it out :) ... and now, on with the show.
Some people have opinions.

I say some, because that is with the exception of people who only think what they're told to think, and consequently, follow the herd.

None-the-less, it's important for people to think freely and question what they hear.

My love and I have had a lot of opinions thrown our way, and some really hurt.

Then there's others that really hit a place that makes us think about our own actions and opinions.  Some have really swayed my thinking to see another side, and I like that.  It means I'm growing.

I shared some of these opinions that my friends have shared with me, and sometimes it hurts Papi.

Sometimes, my friends feel the need to be the sentinel.  I really appreciate this support.  It means a lot to me that someone would protect me.  It proves I'm loved, even though I know it already.

Anyway, when I shared one with my love this time around, it really made an impact on mi esposo, who felt very defensive.

That's when this conversation came up.

My love says, "Do they ever think about how I've supported you in your difficulty with this?  They don't know how I feel.  I feel like ever since this whole thing started, it's been all about you."

excuse me? gimme a moment to pick up my jaw ...

Papi and I went back and forth: "You just started hormones without my knowledge!"  Volley:  "You cried for weeks on end and it hurt to see you that way!"  Counter: "You started the procedure before I'd even had time to process it!" etc. etc. etc.

i don't need to tell 'you', my imaginary friend ... you've been here the whole time listening.

Well, we really don't have many things that we actually 'argue' about, but this became one of a few disagreements that I can count on one hand.

There was finger pointing from my love, there was 'talk to the hand' from me, and there was absolutely no way either of us was going to back down on this one.

We finally agreed to disagree and take 50/50 on the whole thing.  It showed just how far we've both come in this.

When I say both, I really mean it.

This is not a venture for one person when you're a partnership.  This truly is about two people in a marriage.

Some of the passionately political people would never ever look at my side and see that I have any say in the matter what-so-ever. 

as if i really don't matter? oh i matter bitches!

Others in my camp feel that my love should never have gone through with this procedure, stripping me of my gay title after marrying a 'woman'!

This is where the **ahem** 'conversation' turned to the topic of support.

I confirmed, "When this all first started out, you had all the Rah-Rah-Tranny people shouting 'Good on ya!' and what did I have?  Squat.  I had to fight to find people to talk to, but you had happiness right from the beginning."

My love and I spoke about this, and I realized that we have actually met in the middle when Papi said, "Well, all the people who used to comment on Facebook have sorta vanished."

Where I have had to add one heart at a time to my list of support, Papi lost one person at a time, because my love is free thinking and doesn't do what anyone else says he should do.

My love started out strong, and myself?  I was weak.

I'm gaining strength, while Papi is having rude awakenings of false friendships, which is promoting an air of discord in my love.

In the beginning, I would never have imagined a middle ground between us.  At the time, I felt like there was a fence dividing us as we walked our path.

Well, the fence is gone and we have both looked on each others side.

But I still had one more thing to say, "Ok ... so maybe it's been both of us that it's been about, but I think it's a little more like 50.5 on your part."

Oh it all started again where the bartering came and my love said it was more like 60/40 on my part.

It was sorta funny by this point.  Our laughs began and the silliness had reached a stale mate.

We truly are both in this together.  It is 50/50.

Then as Papi was starting his shift, I received a text: "I feel like I need to start a blog!!"

Oh boy.

And you think I air my laundry a bit too much?  You'd really get to see what TMI means if this ever happened.


  1. Now I KNOW I recoginized a particular pic in one of the threads. I did a double take and now I know! :)

  2. lmao! took me a minute to figure out what you meant ... now i got it lol!

  3. Well I'm sure I said that very same thing a while ago.
    And then you get to read a blog that's all about you, and we can leave comments saying it's only interesting when it is...

  4. ok ... now i think i need to read my whole blog again, because i don't understand what you mean dirty! lmao!

  5. That Papi should start a blog...I think I said it after the post about how you were told that your blog is only interesting when it's about Papi.

  6. ah yes!! yes ... my love should have one. it would be good, but alas, it would take away from the tv 'n facebook time lol!


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