Death Sentence.

My brain is swimming here and there.

I just received the phone call to get on the waiting list for therapy via VISAC.

I realized through talking that I'm really ok, but damn, I got stuff to deal with.

When I think too much, that's when my brain flails.

It's because the woman on the phone had a list of questions to ask before I could be put on this list.

It occurred to me that I had just given a verbal résumé of my mental health.

We went from childhood trauma, to anorexia, to suicide and that's when I realized that my life is so damn good.  Nothing can take away the work that I've done to get as strong and happy as I am now.

One of the questions was about past counseling and I was able to confidently say, "I am in a good place.  I had issues to deal with that I thought were over, but having been in counseling since I was young, I have tools to work with.  I just know that I've been triggered and I need more attention on this topic than I thought."

We spoke about what triggered it, and it was too damn clear.  I let her know that by having a spouse go through male transformation, I'm forced with having a male being in the house.

Even right now, my gentle heart pounds.

But it is ok.

I am safe.

I am strong.

And now I have to wait 6 months before anyone can see me.

This program is only for adult survivors.  Here in Vancouver, there are that many adults that have been abused, that we have to wait that long.

Never mind the poor little souls who are being abused right now and must be given counseling at a young age, or, later when they finally realize they're strong enough to deal with it.

It's sickening to think that there are this many victims and this many assailants.

What the fuck is the matter with people!?!?!

I know this is going to spark a massive blast from the Hen Peckers, but I'm all for pedophiles and rapists being put down.

We put down dogs, raccoons, bears, tigers etc. when they attack us.  Our system thinks it's safer for us because these 'animals' will attack again.

Well, what about the walking abscess that we call sexual offenders?!

These muther fuckers go into jail for a few years, then bide their time until they can get out and re-offend.

They run to the hills ignoring their probation, and find the nearest person that tickles their fancy.

Then we have to hear about it in the news.  Then we have to be warned that another is being let out and we must keep an eye out for the predator, because they are at 'high risk to re-offend.

WTF?!?!?!?!?

These people are rabid and could NEVER be rehabilitated, unless they get a fucking lobotomy.

whoa.  if my heart wasn't pounding before, it surely is now ...

Get rid of them.

When people stop acting 'civil', why the fuck should they ever be granted 'civil rights'?

I'm all for the vigilante who has a vendetta and gets rid of these bastards for us.

Lord knows it's the only way these pussballs of mucus could ever be stopped.

And now, I must go calm myself down, and wait 6 months.

6 muther fucking months to deal with this fucking issue that I have already spent years of my life dealing with.

All because of the offender.

Fuck you, and if I ever figure out which one of you did this to me, you should be wary of your own safety.

end rant.