My friends are people who will tell me to my face if there's something on their mind, and I love them for that.
One person has caught up to my life and feels very defensive for me. She still loves Papi, but she is thinking the same way I used to when the transgender bomb was dropped.
Every word that came out of her mouth were the exact words I felt in the beginning. It is strictly one sided thinking that I can now recognize, by looking back at where I was 9 months ago.
She helped me realize how far I've come. I have changed those thoughts and would like for her to see another side as well.
It actually blew me away when I saw my mirror image and didn't like what was in front of me. Her defensiveness for me made me defensive of my love.
I remember thinking, all those tumultuous months ago, that I would need to defend Papi at some point down the road. However, I knew I couldn't do that until I had enough strength to defend myself first.
Looks like I found that place.
In that same day, another friend made me really realize another side of a story.
It was about how protective I was of my love when the Hen Peckers went on to a forum and discussed what mi esposo should do in his life.
Not really any of their business, but none-the-less, I was hopping mad that they could discuss how they think someone should live a life that doesn't belong to them.
She said she just wanted to play devil's advocate.
What she did was open my mind a little more to where some other people may be coming from.
Her perspective was; if they grandfather in Papi to allow a trans-man to work there, then it must open the door to others, not just one person.
If they open the door to trans-men, then they can't close the door on bio-men.
If they open the door to bio-men, this 'safe house' may not feel safe for the women who have suffered from the violent hand of a male predator.
I thought about this in terms of my own survival.
Papi says he's never met someone who is such a man hater as myself.
In my defense, I'm not a 'man hater'. I'm a 'creep hater', and not all men fall into this category, just as there's women who do.
In the same way an offender can smell a victim, I can smell an offender, and my instincts are usually right.
In this way, I trust my senses, and I follow their feelings. No different than a dog that can smell someone with ill will and their hackles will stand on end.
Oh, trust me. Mine do as well.
I have many male friends that are so much sweeter than any woman could ever be. There are beautiful bio-male people out there.
Which brings me to the third opinion that opened my eyes again yesterday.
My love and I were taking care of a friend who was a little ill yesterday, and we stayed with her until the partner came home.
Papi asked her, "Do you think I should leave my job?" from a place of true curiosity from someone whom we admire for their honesty.
Her opinion was that Papi's boss really thinks it's for the better of the women that my love stay at the house, because they don't see my love as any one gender. They see Papi. They see a good person who is there to brighten the day of a world where there is so much darkness.
Then she went a little further.
We discussed how there are some amazingly beautiful men out there who would be a good person to have in such houses, as it would be a great place for them to really learn that not all men are offenders out to break their spirit.
Earlier, she thought of a way for me to heal from my ghosts. She suggested that I come by and make penises.
yup. you read that right.
Her and her partner make silicone penises for trans people, and for those female bodies who feel it's hot to pack. She recommended that I get to know them while they're not attached to a person.
If I make one from a place that won't bring me fear, I could possibly see that they're not attached to an offender.
Looks like I'm going to be making some detachable penises.
What a world I live in.