Monday, September 26, 2011

Pee.

When Papi reads my blogs, it seems I always have portrayed the body of the story wrong in terms of my dialogue.

You know?

He said/she said?

So the other day when there were an abundance of penes around the house, my love was sad that I didn't explain that each of them has a specific purpose.

you're kidding right?

I just see a Plastic Penis.

Well, now I must tell you that one is for packing, another for peeing, and yet another for sex.

Apparently, you just stick a rod in it to get the full male effect.

ummmmmm ... i say no thank you.

I'm quite satisfied with Papi without toys.  I enjoy myself.  I don't need the lifelike penis coming at me.

Then there was the Good Vibrations card that my Blogger Friend has given me.

I told my love to pick out the better harness, because that nasty one that he's using looks like it's been in a few too many rugby games, hanging to dry on the shower rod.

So, Papi goes online, and instead of looking at the harness, what does he look at?

Lifelike penes.

Lifelike.

No, I don't want lifelike.

My love went on to explain that it can do all of the above.

Ok, then it's a definite no.

My love could have the 2 out of 3, but that thing is not coming near me for sexy time.

I prefer the ones that don't look anything like the real specimen.

Besides, they're better.

That is of course from what I remember.

I did spend my time in the closet wacked out on whatever my addict brain could find to keep me obliterated, and as far away from reality as possible.

Well, after my 'hell no!' came for the 'lifelike' torpedo, it was decided that I will now use the gift certificate for something that I want.

Anyway, the whole point of this is not about that 'lifelike' penis, it was really to get to the point about the one penis that pees.

The PeeCock.

I told my love to practise.  Practise makes perfect after all.

So, my love tries, and tries, and tries to get it right, but bathroom time is full of cussing.

"Fuck!  I peed down my leg again.  Guess I'll have a shower," or, "Why does everyone say this is so easy!  It's not easy!  I'm constantly peeing down my leg!  Fuck!!  I'm pretty sure I cleaned it all up from the floor."

Yesterday's was most bizarre, however.  My love was complaining that everyone says it's easy and that the Top Surgery didn't hurt at all, and the hysterectomy will be a cake walk.

Yeah, I don't know who these people are that say it's easy, but I remember my mother being in the hospital after cancer and having her full hysterectomy.

It was not easy.

Papi will get through it, but when I'm really looking at everything that my love has to do to achieve inner peace, I find I want to support mi esposo even more.

I had so much trouble accepting all of this, but where we are now, I feel more compassion for Papi and the difficulty he must have had to get to this place.

Now looking at what lengths my love will go to, it's pretty eye opening, and I'm now at the point when people call my love female, I look at them like they're crazy.

Papi's transformation is indeed changing my mind along with my love's body.

This confirms my statement in the beginning: It's not only mi esposo who will be going through life changes, it is indeed changing my life too.

And it's not so bad anymore.

9 comments:

  1. I just want to cheer that last sentence !!!

    I used to be able to pee standing up without the aid of anything other then two fingers. Then I got ...nah, not going into that here lol.

    I've had a few friends who've had hysterectomys and I have to say they were laid up for weeks. What I think might be different is that they were not happy about it and in that situation due to illness. From a psychological point of view for Papi this a positive thing and also being done on a healthy body.
    Just look to the positive Andrea, aint nobody gonna be feeling like doing any DIY after that lol.

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  2. lmao dirty!! you know, i can aim mine in the shower. all kinds of fun lol!

    and yeah, papi will be in my care and i'll be force feeding him healthy food mwahahaha!

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  3. yet again you have the convo wrong baby. The lifelike penis is only for being hard and sex or I guess walking around with a boner but that would be weird and i would get arrested.
    It isn't purple or green like the ones we have it's a "normal" penis color with veins and feels more real or something.
    I already have the 3 in one you were talking about :->
    Love you baby

    As far as the hysto goes I'm paranoid they will find cancer in me. (had pre cancerous cells before and my mom died of cancer) so that is why I'm scared

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  4. also so proud for the last sentence :)

    being the curious person i am i just googled the peecock. i found it odd/interesting that they had "brown" and "moderate brown" and just recently made a beige one for caucasian people.

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  5. LOL
    I love it when you two have 'words' on this blog.

    @Easton, one of my friends that had the op did so for that very reason. High risk factors in family history. You can't get cervical/womb/ovarian cancer if you have the relevant parts removed. Who knows you may just be inadvertently saving your life :)

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  6. @honeyB, thank you and yes, it's pretty wacky how they have different colours for different people. i haven't delved in that far ;)

    @dirty, we can always count on E to correct my brain injured words :)

    and maybe you're right about the saving of life. after you've said that as well, perhaps i should be looking at it. my mom had it and so did my g'ma

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  7. " it is indeed changing my life too.

    And it's not so bad anymore."
    I never for a moment doubted that you will reach the point when you will be saying these words in your Blog! Booyah! Good on yah A!
    Now on the subject of penises, when it's of a purple shade, doesn't that mean it's already dead? hahahahaha

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  8. lmfao!!!!!

    purple penis.

    man you crack me up PB!

    thank you for the cheers my dear xoxo

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